You’re having ‘one of those days’. Maybe it’s because you didn’t sleep well last night or because you’re worried about something that happened at work. Whatever it is, for some reason you keep dropping things, spilling things, and breaking things, not to mention the disaster that happened when you painted the ceilings this morning! Not only did you fall off the highest step on the ladder (backwards!), but all the paint went flying in the air and landed all over you, your toddler and your new kitchen floor. Oops!

But what does your toddler do? How do they respond to the paint splashing over them? They don’t shout at you for being so clumsy, or tell you to be more careful, or exclaim what a mess you’ve made. Instead, they ask, “are you OK, mummy, what happened?” and help you to clear up the mess.

We have so much to learn from our little ones when it comes to how we treat them when they make mistakes. And an important question we can ask ourselves is – do we react to their mistakes with as much grace and compassion as they do when we make mistakes?

So let's first of all, take a look at what lecturing sounds like.

What does lecturing my toddler sound like?

If you say these things when your toddler makes a mistake, it’s likely that you are lecturing them:

“Be more careful!”
“Don’t do that!”
“How could you?”
“Stop doing that!”
“What were you thinking?”
“Look at the mess you’ve made!”
“Why did you do that?”
“I can’t believe you did that!”

So, now let’s take a look at some ways you can handle your toddler when they make a mistake, without sounding like you’re lecturing them.

How do I handle my toddler when they have an accident or make a mistake?

Here are some ways in which you can positively react when your toddler makes a mistake:

Never scold, reprimand, or humiliate them.
Don’t make them feel ashamed of what they’ve done.
Ask them what happened in a genuinely curious way and suggest you clear the mess together.
Be aware of your tone. Keep frustration at bay and make sure your voice is soft and loving.
Find out how they are feeling (remember, they also could have had a bad night’s sleep).
Remember mistakes are exactly that – mistakes. Your toddler doesn't mean to break, spill or drop things. It’s part of human nature to make mistakes.
See life from your toddler’s perspective. What would have been going for them when they had an accident? How do things look and feel from their angle?

Observe how your toddler reacts when you make a mistake.
How do you treat yourself when you make mistakes? If you’re hard on yourself, it’s likely that you’ll be hard on your toddler. By being easier on yourself, you will positively influence how you respond to your toddler’s mistakes.

Do I need to lecture my toddler when they make a mistake?

Sometimes a gentler approach is best. Unii explains.