As parents, we all need help at times, whether we’re doing it alone or with a partner. Now, this has nothing to do with being lazy or incompetent, it’s simply how we’ve been wired as human beings. Have you ever heard the phrase “It takes a village to raise a child’? This African proverb suggests that it takes the interaction of a whole community of people to raise a child in a happy and safe environment, and there’s real truth in this.

No, you don’t need to literally involve your entire village or town in the raising of your child, but there are certain groups of people who can make your life a whole lot easier if you let them.

So, who are these groups?

Who makes up a support network?

The professionals. Your pro team includes anyone whose services you pay for or who you seek out for their professional advice. This includes doctors, childcare providers, teachers, therapists, coaches, and so on. Sometimes you can choose who makes up this area of your support network, and sometimes you can’t. But if you are given a choice, choose those people you feel you can rely on, and whose expertise you trust in.

Local parental community. The second area of support comes from the parents who make up your local community – the parents you see at the playground or waiting outside the school gates. These are the folks you rely on to take your little one to school on a particularly busy morning or have a chat with while the kids play tennis. These fellow parents can be incredibly useful, but remember that you need to ask for their help (they can’t read minds), and you’ll need to reciprocate that help.

Your friends. It’s so important to have friends around who can talk you off a ledge when you feel a little crazy or text you and call you when you just need someone to listen. In other words, these people are truly there for you. They won’t make you feel bad if you’re acting a little mad and they won’t throw any judgement your way. These are the people that leave us feeling calmer, more confident, and more connected after they leave.

Your family. Families are so often complicated, but if you have good relationships with members of your family, then they’re probably already a big part of your support network. But again, remember that even our family members can’t read our minds and know when we need help unless we ask.

Why is a support network so important?

Fellow parents are a source of information and advice. The best advice doesn’t always come from a professional. Sometimes it’s the dad who lives next door or the mum you often see on the playground who offers up that golden nugget of advice that changes everything.

They’ll get you out of your head. When the kids have you feeling a little crazy, these people can bring you back to reality. They’ll tell you if you’re being silly, misunderstanding a situation, or that it isn’t your fault when you blame yourself unnecessarily. They’ll also reassure you that you’re not the only one who loses it with their kids once in a while.

Calm your nervous system. If you trust them and feel safe with them, they’re sure to calm your nervous system down when you need it most. Just knowing there are an extra pair of competent hands nearby is sure to make you feel better.

Entertain us. And not forgetting that these people entertain us and make us happy. After spending days on end with screaming children, having an adult conversation is often exactly what the doctor ordered.

They teach things to your kids that you can’t. The more people you surround your kids with, people from different places, with different backgrounds, the more they’ll learn. After all, we can’t very well teach them about things we don’t know ourselves, so let others do so.

As a parent, who is part of my support network?

Who can parents reach out to for support with the most important jobs in the world?