Whether you’ve planned for parenthood or it happened unexpectedly, getting finances sorted is usually top of the priority list for couples during pregnancy. While some couples may have a joint account and agree that the highest earner contributes more to household expenses, others will have separate accounts and split everything 50/50. And, of course, co-parents or single parents will also have financial arrangements specific to them and their situation.

As you’ll know, having a baby is a huge expense and one that needs a reevaluation of your entire approach to finances. For many couples, the “finance talks” happen in the third trimester, but some eager financial planners want to have these conversations a lot earlier.

We recommend that you and your partner sit down as early as possible in your pregnancy and decide how you will handle your finances related to the baby.

A starting point to financial planning for your baby:

Go through your bank account statements and assess how you’ve been spending your money and what cuts you can make.

Educate yourself about baby-related expenses and figure out a rough amount you will need every month.

Here are some other things you and your partner may want to discuss when planning for your baby.

Questions to discuss with your partner about finances:

These chats might not be easy to have, but they are important all the same.

How does the person who is not working have access to funds? For example, if you are a stay-at-home parent, you will have to negotiate how much to spend on that moisturiser you’ve been buying for years or those expensive jeans you love. This can make you feel powerless and likely put stress on the relationship. Of course, the non-earning partner plays a significant role in supporting the family, so they will still need to speak up about their financial necessities. It can be helpful to allocate a personal spending budget every month for each partner that’s separate from the family finances.

How will you monitor your spending? If only one of you is the primary caregiver, does the other person get less of a say over baby-related expenses? For example, if you’re the one pushing the buggy most of the time, do you get more of a say about how much money to spend on which model? Or does your partner also get input? Deciding these things in advance can really help you to avoid arguments in the future.
Who is doing what household task? If one of you is going from full-time work to being a stay-at-home parent, will that person be expected to do all the cooking, cleaning and household chores? Should the person working do more childcare and household duties on the weekend to give the primary caregiver a rest?

Remember, your attitude towards family spending is likely to connect back to feelings related to how your family handled finances when you were growing up. If tensions arise, try to get to the fears or concerns underneath and share this with your partner. Even if you don’t agree, you will hopefully be able to find a way of negotiating or at least learn more about one another's family histories to help you empathise with your partner's decisions.

Financial stress is inevitable, especially when you have a baby on the way. If you try to carve out some time every week to have your finance chats, it will be easier when the time comes.

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