You’re at the airport waiting for your flight number to be called out when your toddler starts to get very agitated and calls out loudly for attention. You’re reading the last chapter of a very good book, so you try to calm your little one down so you can get back to reading. But they are just getting more and more agitated. And so are you!

As parents, we can only dream of being able to sit quietly when we wait for our flight or our doctor’s appointment or when we’re at a café with a friend. But with a toddler, that’s pretty much impossible! Remember, toddlers love to explore, move, and communicate and are passionate and impulsive little things. This, of course, doesn’t mean that we need to excuse bad behaviour, but it does mean we can prepare ourselves and manage our expectations.

Let’s take a look at a few ways we can manage our expectations when we have a toddler.

How to manage expectations when I have a toddler:

If you know you’re bringing your toddler somewhere where there’s waiting involved, for example, at an airport, a doctor’s waiting room or in a café, be prepared that they will get agitated or loud with nothing to distract them. It’s doubtful that you’ll be able to read that book or make that phone call, so be prepared to keep their curious minds entertained if they start showing signs of irritation. You may need to take them on a little walk or go to the window at the airport to watch the planes or take them to look at the fish tank and watch the fish together.

Be fully prepared for trips away from home. Take plenty of water, food, your toddler’s favourite books and toys, some shells and something that can keep them engaged, such as a bottle with a coin to drop in. If there are delays or any situation where you need to wait, you know you have all you need to support your toddler's active, curious mind.

Before asking your toddler to do something, make sure they have finished the task at hand. If they are in the middle of putting a puzzle together, and you ask them to put their shoes on, more often than not, they will not respond. You may feel frustrated that they never listen to you, but it’s very hard for them to be in the middle of what they’re doing and also be aware of what’s happening around them. Just think how you would feel if someone interrupted you in the middle of something.

Let your toddler have time to process what you say. You may find that a lot of the time you ask your child to do something, you get no response. This is because it takes them a while to understand what is being asked of them. To avoid frustration, try counting to ten slowly in your head and allow them to process what you’ve said in their own time.

Keep a routine. Toddlers love (and need) structure, rhythm, and routine. This can be helpful when managing your expectations, so you know exactly what the daily rhythm looks like: wake up, eat breakfast, get dressed, leave the house, lunchtime, nap time, dinner time, bath time, and bedtime. The more regular the routine, the easier it will be for everyone.

How can I accept my toddler developing at their own pace?