As you’ll know, children are some of the most sensitive little creatures on the Earth, and can be affected by even the smallest of changes to their relationships or environment. If you think back to your preschool days, surely you will remember how overwhelming it was, being taken to a loud party bustling with adults and children you didn’t know, and immediately expected to join in with every activity?

In order to grow and develop properly, all children need an environment which is emotionally safe and promotes acceptance, belonging, connectedness, predictability, responsiveness, and physical and psychological safety. As little children have so many needs in this regard, we understand that it can be hard to know how to provide them in all the right ways.

But creating the right environment for a child to thrive doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact, it’s very simple!

How can I help my child feel like they belong?

Naturally, it’s going to take time for anyone to feel like they belong in a setting, not just a child. One needs to feel like they know who people are, where things are, what happens when, and what they need to do.

Although this is a process, you can demonstrate acceptance and liking to your child with:

Warmth

Helping your child to feel well-liked is one of the most important elements to easing them into a particular environment. And one of the best ways to help a child feel well-liked is to show warmth however you can. For example, look into their eyes and give them a smile. Have them physically close to you at times so they feel comforted. This way, your child will feel like you have touched base with them and will start to feel much more comfortable.

Appropriate affection

Despite there being an association with inappropriate touching in some settings, appropriate physical affection is necessary for your child to feel emotionally secure in an environment. It’s also important to acknowledge that sometimes your child will cling to you, while sometimes they will push you away. This is very normal, so don’t get it personally.

‘I’ statements

Separating your child’s behaviour from them is crucial for helping them to settle into an environment properly, because young children generally believe that when you reprimand them for their behaviour you don’t like them as a person. Always remember to separate the person from the problem!

Developing a sense of fairness

Children need to understand boundaries and fairness to feel like they belong, and to know the appropriate way to act in a particular setting. For example, if you establish rules by reference to fairness, and put systems in place for the fair distribution of privileges, treats and responsibilities, your child knows what is expected of them.

Giving your child personal recognition and acknowledgement

Helping your child feel proud of themselves and giving them praise when deserved, is just as important as putting them right when you feel they are in the wrong. In the context of helping them settle into an environment, when you can see your child is properly interacting with others, make sure you acknowledge how well they have done! This way, the next time they will know to make an effort to repeat their positive behaviours.

Ensuring that your child has their own place and space

Another factor that can contribute to your child feeling like they belong in an environment is to give them their own designated place and space. This will not only make them feel important, it will also confirm that the environment itself is dependable and safe.

Ensuring social inclusion

Feeling excluded is the worst feeling in the world, both for children and adults! Always make an effort to make your child feel included in the environment they are in. You could do this by making suggestions and commentary to facilitate a game, or introducing a rule such as the ‘you can’t say you can’t play’ rule that addresses the behaviour of all the children present.

How can I create an emotionally safe environment for my child?

Unii shares how create an emotionally safe space for your child.