Following on from understanding how your behaviour as a parent can significantly affect your preschool child and their development, it’s time to understand positive discipline in a more in-depth way. So, if you have questions such as, what is positive discipline? How does it work? How does it benefit your child? And how do you do it? Then we’re here to answer them!

First of all, it’s important we understand the basis of what positive discipline is.

What is positive discipline?

To clarify, disciplining a child should always be about teaching them to choose to do the right thing - for the right reason! It shouldn’t be about pushing them into avoiding certain behaviours for fear of being punished. Positive discipline is not about punishment or handing out praise. It promotes good behaviour in a healthy way that will last for the long-term into adulthood. The goal is to teach self-control and self-discipline, validate their feelings, give empathy, help them to build relationships and develop good communication skills.

Here are some keywords that sum up what positive discipline is all about:

Kind.

Firm.

Nonviolent.

Respectful.

Problem-solving.

Character building.

Why is positive discipline necessary for life skills?

To help you grasp the reason you should prioritise positive discipline for your children, this type of discipline is important as it drives an internal force that drives our decisions and actions. It causes us to perform responsibly and behave well and gives us a strong desire to contribute to society.

One of the central teachings of positive discipline is that ‘there are no bad children, only bad behaviour’. It’s crucial to separate bad behaviour from the child themselves, as when, for example, we tell a child that ‘they’re being naughty’, we put a label on them and not their behaviour. In this way, children can become overly attached to this label, stunting their positive progress in life - which is never helpful! Being able to look at bad behaviour objectively makes it much easier for them to come up with solutions or change these habits.

Examples of everyday difficulties that positive discipline will help you deal with as a parent:

When you are standing in a shopping centre, and your child has decided to throw a tantrum.

When your child won’t eat their dinner.

When your child doesn’t want to do their homework.

Implementing parenting goals

Positive discipline is ideal for parenting goals, as it is a set of principles that can be applied to help you guide all of your interactions with your child and achieve both short-term and long-term goals.

To explain these types of goals in a bit more detail:

Short-term parenting goals

Short-term parenting goals can be things that you, as a parent, want to accomplish daily regarding your child. For example, a short-term goal could be getting your child ready

to leave for school at the right time in the morning. Although this may appear like a single goal, it’s actually made up of a few different ones, such as your child getting up when you wake them, brushing their teeth, having breakfast, packing their school bag, etc.

To summarise, short-term parenting goals are things you want to achieve as soon as possible so that life can keep moving. In one day, you’ll find you come across hundreds of short-term parenting goals when it comes to your kids. It’s helpful to look at how positive discipline can help you and your family move through these goals while assisting your kids in learning to make better choices.

Long-term parenting goals

Long-term parenting goals are very different from short-term parenting goals because they are the real reason you should be disciplining your kids. While short-term goals provide instant gratification, long-term parenting goals are what you want your kids to achieve when they are older - for example, your child having resilience, good decision-making skills, and knowing how to take responsibility.

Be kind, but firm

As a parent, we know that learning how to strike the perfect balance between being both firm and kind can be tricky. For instance, some parents try to emphasise being firm over being kind, which can negatively affect the child. While equally, others will towards kindness - sometimes to the point of letting things slide that they shouldn’t.

How can I discipline my child in a positive way?

Disciplining your child in a positive way involves setting clear expectations.