For humans, the everyday routine of life keeps us settled and grounded. We know where we are with routine, we know how to organise the lives of ourselves and those of our children. But despite routine being so necessary, having special, exciting events where we can let go and do something different is equally as important. Events like birthdays, Easter, Christmas, Thanksgiving and weddings can keep life exciting, especially when you have young children.

However, as exciting as these celebrations are, some experts have questioned whether events like these can be stressful and chaotic for children, and want parents to understand more about some of the issues preschool children face during celebrations, and how to adjust these events so they can enjoy them in a way that is helpful for their personal, social and emotional development.

So before we delve into what you can do as a parent in this regard, let’s first take a closer look at the nature of celebrations and what they mean for young children:

What do celebrations mean for young children?

For a moment, imagine yourself as a child during Christmas time. A magical period where the atmosphere is one of great excitement and magic. The house is filled with wonderful smells of gingerbread and other delicious foods. The tree is sparkling with tinsel, the bannister is lined with fairy lights, the house is full of laughter and chatter, and you’re sitting in front of a roaring fire opening a stocking filled with presents. Sounds pretty picturesque, doesn’t it?

But imagine for a moment what this event might be like if you’re not a resilient, emotionally secure child. An event such as this becomes triggering. The sudden change of lights is overwhelming. The smells coming from the kitchen are disorientating. The new adults in the living room make you feel uneasy, while the adults you do know are acting out of character. And suddenly, there’s a huge tree in your living room where the piano used to be!

While many, many children absolutely love celebrations like Christmas, this is a good example of how celebratory events, and a change in routine, can make some children feel unsafe.

How can I help my child enjoy celebrations?

Your child may be a little individual that thrives during the chaotic excitement that celebrations like Christmas time bring. Or, they might be more like the child just described. Either way, there are ways that you as their parent can help them enjoy these events instead of becoming triggered by them.

Try to put yourself in the position of your child, and the lack of control they have during these types of celebrations. This will help you to connect to how they are feeling during these events, and understand the lack of control they might feel. Doing this will also help you to show empathy, and help them to self-soothe in the future.

Involve your child in the preparations for celebrations. Children really like to feel included in what they consider to be something important. By showing them that they can bring value to the preparations, they will not only feel less stressed about the idea of joining in, but they will also feel safe enough to really enjoy the celebration itself and become more involved in activities.

Help your child to build on previous experiences of celebrations so their journey through new change is less difficult and negative. Remind them of how well they did during the celebration last Christmas, for example, and how much everyone liked the cakes they helped make or the tinsel they helped decorate the tree with.

How can I help my child enjoy special occasions?

Read about preparing your child for events before you take Unii’s Toddler Health & Development Journey.