As the parent of a preschooler, we know that you’ll probably have some mixed emotions surrounding your child’s bedtime routine. Even after the storybook has been closed and put back on the shelf, the last cuddle of the night has been given, and the nightlight has been switched on, there’s always the expectation that bedtime could drag on longer than you’d originally planned.

You may or may not have heard the terms ‘callbacks’ and ‘curtain calls’, and although they are originally associated with performances, they can also be used when discussing the behaviour of children. Callbacks and curtain calls are requests that a child will make to their parents around bedtime, as an excuse to delay the process of falling asleep independently. For example, asking for another cuddle, asking to go to the toilet, or asking for a snack.

Let’s face it, dealing with bedtime callbacks and curtain calls isn’t exactly ideal. However, luckily there are ways to ensure that your child grows out of these sorts of behaviours, learns to self-comfort around bedtime, and ultimately falls asleep quickly and independently.

So, let’s explore some easy, practical ways in which you can limit bedtime callbacks and curtain calls.

How can I limit bedtime callbacks and curtain calls?

Using bedtime tickets:

There are different ways you can limit bedtime callbacks and curtain calls, but one of the most effective is by using what we like to call ‘bedtime tickets’.

This method works as a way to let your child know that if they need anything else from you while they are learning to self-comfort, then they can use a limited amount of ‘tickets’. For example, you can give your child one or two tickets to use as a pass for one or two brief requests or trips out of the room. These requests should only take one minute or less - maybe your child might want one more trip to the bathroom, or one more hug. Remember that the tickets should expire after five minutes, as this will set some clear boundaries surrounding this method.

Overall, the bedtime ticket method is very useful, not only because it gives a simple way to manage requests you may receive from your little one around bedtime, but also because it provides you both with a sense of control. Over a period of time using the bedtime ticket method, your child will get to grips with the process of learning how to fall asleep independently, as once they learn that you are granting only one or two more requests for the night, then they will settle into sleep more quickly.

Here’s a bullet point guide on how to use bedtime tickets:

Your child will be given one or two tickets at the end of the Bedtime Routine.
Each ticket is good for one brief request.
Bedtime tickets expire in five minutes.
Unused tickets can be redeemed the next morning for a small reward (like going to get ice cream, or choosing a special breakfast treat).

Once the bedtime tickets have been used up, you can try the following techniques to minimize talking and avoid granting further requests.

Encourage being quiet:

Winding down for bedtime is an important process for preschool children. And while children will often like to chat about their day, what happened at school, and any news concerning their peers, talking too near bedtime can actually hinder the process of them falling asleep. Therefore, try not to have deep talks with your child around this time, and instead delegate another time in which they can talk to you about whatever is on their mind.

Repeat a “Broken Record” Phrase:

When you first start to build a more structured bedtime routine for your child, you might find that they will protest at first. During this time, it can be helpful to not be reactive, and to use as few words as possible when you respond to your child. It can also help to use a ‘broken record phrase’ such as “your bedtime tickets are gone. Read or play until you are sleepy. It’s bedtime”. This means that you won’t get drawn back into discussion and overstimulate your child’s mind when they are supposed to be bedding down for the night.

Handle extra bathroom requests:

Requesting to go to the bathroom is one of the most common for preschoolers when they are supposed to be falling asleep. If you are experiencing your child asking for bathroom trips after they have used up their bedtime tickets, ask them to go independently. You can even use a timer if your child seems to be stalling once in the bathroom, if you feel that it is needed. Another option is putting a portable potty in your child’s room, so they don’t have to leave.

Move to a chair in the doorway:

If you believe your child is testing your limits when you’re trying to establish a bedtime routine and introduce the idea of bedtime tickets, then you could use the technique of moving to sit in a chair in the doorway of their room. Sit with your back to the room, and remind your child that you will move back to where you were (near their bed) only when they stay in bed and read or play until they get drowsy enough to fall asleep. Remember to keep very quiet while you are in the doorway, and pay no attention to requests, attempts at conversation or questions. Simply having your calm, physical presence in the doorway can make a lot of difference to your child as they try to fall asleep.

Use calm, silent walk backs:

Children benefit from repetition in many areas of their life, including their bedtime routine. Although it may take several attempts, a good practice to adopt is to walk your child back to their room calmly and silently each and every time they leave. After a while, your child will begin to understand that the same thing will happen every time they leave the room, and will be less inclined to leave in the first place.

It's recommended for parents to consider their child's individual needs and consult with paediatricians or child sleep specialists for personalised guidance.

How can I limit bedtime callbacks and curtain calls?

Get your child to go to bed and stay there with Unii’s tips.