Softening the birth experience in order to make it more positive for you and your baby is a key goal of Unii’s Hypnobirthing Journey. You may be familiar with relaxation techniques but doubtful about using them in childbirth, or you may have come to this article with no idea how to calm your busy head. Don’t worry, we’re here to help.

What is relaxation?

You probably have your own idea of what 'relaxed’ feels like, but you may be relieved to know that hypnobirthing experts don’t believe you need to have a completely empty mind or still body to achieve a deep state of relaxation. In fact, if you keep worrying about trying to relax, you’ll create tension that’s completely counterproductive. Plus, being active is an important part of labour even if you don’t practice hypnobirthing, and we don’t want to interfere with you standing up or grabbing that birthing ball and doing what your body instinctively wants to do.

What we are looking for is emotional relaxation. Imagine being lost in thought on a beautiful country walk, feeling completely relaxed and happy. Your eyes are open, and your body is active, but you are in a complete state of trance and not noticing what’s going on around you too much.

What positions should I get into to relax?

We suggest that you find a position that makes you as comfortable as possible. Note that 'most comfortable to you’ might not be completely comfortable, and that’s OK. At any given time during your pregnancy, labour, or childbirth, it may not be possible for you to get completely comfortable. Struggling to get that way causes internal conflict and stress, thereby preventing you from relaxing effectively. You can always be as comfortable as you can be, and by setting the intention of being so, your subconscious mind will relax more easily.

What if I get distracted?

It’s really hard to completely disregard what’s going on around you, whether you're pregnant or not, and this potential obstacle exists even when you're practicing your hypnobirthing beautifully. It’s worth remembering that your subconscious is designed to pay attention to what’s most important at any given moment. If you are focused on something internal, this is what’s most important. If you are distracted by a desire to change positions or, for example, move a hair that’s fallen in your face, trying to ignore the urge will simply create unwanted tension; therefore, you shouldn’t stress. Just acknowledge that the movement needs to be made and won’t shake your focus on your place of relaxation (as explained in Article Four), then make it and continue unimpeded. Send unwanted sounds into the background by saying to yourself, “The sounds around me help me to become more internally focused.”

How can I stay focused on breathing?

Breathing is the most important thing you can do for yourself in labour. If you take nothing else away from this article series, remember that the shallow, speedy breaths we take when anxious or fearful and anxious move vital oxygen away from the uterus where your baby resides, while calm, slow breathing not only ensures oxygen is plentiful but also makes your baby’s environment more peaceful. Your muscles need oxygen to work effectively. Fear causes tension, and you may tighten your abdomen, one of the key areas you need to relax.

By focusing, you can also make your surges (contractions) more manageable.

Tamara’s method of hypnobirthing teaches the Bond and Breathe technique below for the periods between contractions and the Waves of Relaxation technique during the surges you have when you are dilating. During labour, these “waves” will allow you to follow your body’s natural instincts to breathe in a way that supports your surges. Some other teachers refer to their take on these methods collectively as “up breathing,” but no matter what you call them, they ensure you're using your breathing to work with your uterine muscles, rather than against them, and that you’re getting the oxygen that you and your baby need. Let’s look at them a bit more closely now.

Bond and breathe between your surges.

This relaxation technique, which lets you send relaxation progressively through your body, is based on the fact that your unborn baby, like your unconscious mind, is part of you.

It’s about your body, but it starts with your mind. If we told you to relax your facial muscles or shoulders right now, you’d consciously adjust your position or maybe picture the muscles softening based on some alternative experience of relaxation techniques you may have. However, if we ask you to simply use your mind to imagine your face relaxing or picture your shoulders moving away from your neck without consciously moving, your body would have no other way to respond to this but to relax the relevant muscles. Again, this technique requires practice.

An interesting thing happens when you imaginenumbers as you progress down the body, counting down from five to one and then visualising the word'relax’. Your images of five, four, three, two, one, and relaxing become very useful triggers.This is because you will anchor relaxation to each body part. This is a great technique to use in order to stay calm in any situation ie dentist, job interview

Waves of relaxation

Shake your body out and relax.

Start each wave of relaxation by breathing in through your nose and exhaling through your mouth, doing the same 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and relaxing as above. At the end of each breath, turn your attention to the tips of your toes and imagine drawing your next breath up through your body, all the way to the back of your throat.

Aim to be as comfortable as you can be, keeping your shoulder soft and relaxed.

When your breath reaches the back of your throat, take a gentle pause before you begin to exhale.

Either breathe out through your nose or through your relaxed, slightly parted lips. Whatever feels most comfortable

While practicing this, take two long, slow, deep breaths before you begin another 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and relax breath.

As you inhale and exhale, you can either picture waves of the tide rolling in and receding, visualise the numbers zero to ten and then count them down again, or just focus on how each breath is feeling. Isn’t that relaxing?!

If you experience Braxton-Hicks contractions in pregnancy, take the opportunity to practice your Waves of Relaxation!

What will my surges (contractions) feel like?

We don’t know for sure! Everyone experiences them differently, and the position of your baby, as well as your own tolerance, is thought to play a role in your experience. Interestingly, some parents feel them more acutely in their thighs and back than their tummy. You may also feel them differently if your labour begins as a result of an induction method rather than a natural start. Comparisons we hear include strong menstrual cramps and intense pressure, but because we’d rather not fill your mind with potentially off-putting ideas, please rest assured that you’ll know when you know and, with practice, hypnobirthing techniques should make them more manageable. Just focus on what comfortable feels like to you.

How can I relax and focus during labour?