You’re sitting on a bench at your local playground, having a much-needed catch-up with the parent of one of your toddler’s friends from nursery school. You both keep a watchful eye on your children, as they happily play together by the sandpit.

Everything seems to be going so well. That is, until you hear a high-pitched, angry little scream coming from nearby the sandpit. You look over with panic, and see that the children appear to have got into a disagreement about something - they both look pretty angry!

Your immediate reaction is to jump up and hurry over to the scene. But the other parent quickly grabs you by the arm.

“Wait a minute. Remember, we can’t solve every problem for them. Let’s go over calmly, see what the issue is, and help them work through it.”

When you’re a parent, it’s natural to feel like you have to take care of your child’s every want and need, especially when they’re very young. However, a vitally important part of your child growing up is realising that your role isn’t just to protect, but rather to support and to be their guide.

So, let’s further explore why it’s important to be your child’s guide, and how you can go about doing this.

Why is it important to be a child’s guide?

Being a parent can be difficult. Unlike other jobs, you don’t get specific training, and no one can tell you what to do in every single situation you may come across. However, a big part of being a good parent is learning that although it may feel natural to wrap your little one in cotton wool throughout every situation they may come across in life, it’s not always for the best.

Being a child’s guide means being there to support them, rather than rushing to solve every problem they have. It means being their safe place to talk through any frustrations they have been experiencing, to be their sounding board, and an overall friendly, loving figure in their lives.

So, how can you be your toddler’s guide?

How can I be my child’s guide?

It can be hard for some parents to shift from attempting to control the reactions and experiences their toddler has, to simply guiding them towards positive solutions. However, as much as we want to ensure our children have the best possible experiences, it’s vital that we don’t become overbearing, and help only as much as necessary.

There are many subtle ways which you can put into practice in your relationship with your toddler. Being ‘a guide’ can mean:

Giving space for your child to ‘work things out’ for themselves.

Being available when they need you.

Being respectful, kind, and clear.

Helping them to take responsibility when needed.

Providing a safe, rich environment to explore.

Listening to them.

Responding rather than reacting.

Now that we’ve looked at what you need to keep in mind when trying to be your child’s guide, let’s look at how you can also use your home to assist you with supporting your child.

How can I use my home to help my child?

You may be surprised to learn that your home can actually be very helpful when it comes to guiding your child. For example, when you are feeling a little tired, your home can help you in some of the following ways:

Every time you do something for yourself around the house, make a small change so that they can do it successfully by themselves, which will thereby take away some of the burden on you. For example, you could add a scoop to a container so that they can serve their own cereal at breakfast time.

If you find that you are saying “no” a lot, you can look for ways to change the environment. For example, if you find that you are always saying “no” when your toddler reaches for the sweet jar, consider putting it out of sight.

If you find that you are spending too much time tidying up, then perhaps look for ways to reduce the number of toys that are available. For example, you could look out for what toys your child is no longer interested in, or perhaps find ways to support building the skills your child needs to clean up after themselves.

How can parents and homes help to guide and teach toddlers?