In parts 1 and 2, we explored why building your child’s self-esteem is so crucial, and some different ways in which you could go about doing this. However, this is by no means a limited topic, and understanding your child’s self-esteem is a whole journey in itself! One which takes time, thought, consideration, and getting to know who your child is as an individual.

Therefore, we thought it would be helpful to explore this subject even further, so you can feel fully equipped when it comes to ways in which you can boost your child’s self-esteem.

What do I need to know about boosting my child’s self-esteem?

Understand that clinging to home base is relatively normal. It’s very common for children between the ages of 5 - 7 to do something known as “clinging to home base”, where they retreat into the comfort of their home and family after trying to venture out socially and form new friendships and social circles. Although you may find this concerning at first, watch out for this behaviour over the course of a whole year. If it seems to be persisting and your child doesn’t appear to want to venture out, then this could be an unhealthy sign. However, they could simply be a slow social developer.

Monitoring school influences is always a good idea. At this stage of your child’s life, they will be exposed to a lot of influences at school, both adults and children, which may affect their model values, behaviour, and their opinions of themselves. Therefore, it’s wise that you become vigilant as to who is influencing your child while they are at school and in what way. Although you cannot protect them from all outside influences, it’s good to be aware of them.

Try to lose labels. During this time, your child will be searching for their identity, and will often cling on to a label in order to feel sure of who they are and what their values are, regardless of whether this label is a negative or positive one. If you recognise that your child is clinging on to a negative label, then you’ll obviously feel the need to do something about this. However, it’s important you find the balance between stepping in to help and letting your child think for themselves. This is the right path to bringing up a child that is truly grounded, can mould their own set of values, and can create more positive labels for themselves.

Giving your child responsibilities can be helpful. Giving your child a job to do or small responsibilities is one of the best ways for them to develop self-confidence and self-esteem. It helps them feel more valuable, and like they have something to contribute. For example, try giving your child some small household duties such as helping to maintain the family living area.

Give your child a “special” job. When thinking about what small responsibilities to give to your child, think of them as “special” jobs, and talk to your child about them in that way, too. This is constructive as it will help your child see the job in a positive light, and will make it more likely that they will want to complete it.

Create job charts. Creating a job chart is a creative way to get your child interested in completing a task, and to boost their self-esteem. To create a job chart, list the jobs that need to be done, and if you have more than one child, let them choose and rotate between what jobs they want to do for variety. Divide the jobs into non-paying jobs and paying jobs. Non-paying jobs should be classified as those that are naturally expected of your child, for something like living at home. While paying jobs should have the opportunity for your child to earn extra credit if they do more of them. If a job is particularly difficult or unwanted, be sure to give a tip! Also, try to pay your child immediately after the work is done, as children are very immediate-reward oriented. Eventually, your child will make the connection that increasing privileges come with responsibilities, and that working towards what you want is always worthwhile!

Try planting a family garden. Planting a garden is a beautiful, creative way to teach your children that they quite literally will reap what they sow! This will hopefully motivate them to work towards goals, appreciate the rewards of this, and ultimately feel better about themselves. Go to the garden centre and have your child pick out some seeds themselves. Let your child enjoy the process of burying the seeds in soil, watering them over time, and seeing them grow.

How do I bolster my child's self-esteem? (Part 3)