For most of us, there are times in our lives when we feel happy, radiant, confident and in love with ourselves, and times when we feel quite the opposite; unhappy, insecure and our self-esteem at rock bottom.

The ability to love ourselves tends to become a little more challenging during big transitions in our lives; breakups, changing jobs, moving to a new part of the world, and, of course, when we become parents.

But unlike breakups, changing jobs and moving house, becoming a mother also throws in the added self-love barrier – sleep deprivation! Nothing amplifies an uncomfortable feeling more than the lack of sleep.

It’s so normal when you’re a mother to have down days; times when you doubt and criticise yourself. But we want to remind you that when you’re feeling down, you can still be kind to yourself and actually provide you with an opportunity to love yourself a little more.

So, we’d like to offer some ways that you can embrace who you are and fall back in love with yourself even when you’re a little down in the dumps.

How do I fall back in love with myself?

Embrace your unique gifts

Did you know that there are many gifts, talents and strengths that are completely unique to you, that no one else has? You are completely unique and there is no one in the world with your unique set of qualities. Write down or reflect on the unique qualities you have. Don’t be shy! Write down as many as you can think of. Maybe it’s a physical talent such as playing a musical instrument, or maybe it’s an emotional gift such as being able to empathise or listen to people. It can also help to think of all the compliments you have received from people. Don’t miss anything out! And when you’re feeling down, remind yourself of your unique gifts.

What lights you up?

A great way to fall back in love with yourself is to remember what lights you up. What makes you smile? What makes you feel alive? What brings you joy and happiness? You may want to draw hearts and fill in the hearts with those things. They don’t have to be these big epic things, they can be small things too. You might like to include nature, coffee, travel, seeing your baby laughing, chatting to friends, music, taking your dog for a walk, watching a funny TV show, or reading an insightful book. Write as many things as you can think of and keep filling in those hearts!

Love your imperfections

This exercise is especially good for all those perfectionists out there! Part of falling back in love with yourself is acknowledging and accepting your flaws and imperfections. The dip in mental health that happens post-motherhood usually has a lot to do with the judgement around getting things wrong, so embracing your imperfections can help you accept that making mistakes and getting things “wrong” is inevitable and a normal part of life. Allowing yourself to be imperfect and knowing your worth is the ultimate sweet spot! When you can operate from a place of acceptance and humour with a mindset that you are always learning and growing, the world is your oyster! List at least 5 of the imperfections that make you unique.

Gratitude for the growth experiences

You are where you are now because of everything that has happened in the past. Everything before has led to this moment. Having gratitude for all the challenges in your life really helps to gain perspective during future challenging moments. Finding gratitude in every moment is the key to growth, acceptance and self-love. Make a list of all the things that you are grateful for and all the unexpected experiences in your life that led you to where you are now.

Future self visualisation

This exercise is a great way to embody your older wiser self and to get excited about both the woman you are now and the woman you’re becoming:

Get into a comfortable position, close your eyes and take a deep breath, inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth.
Spend a moment visualising something you long for in life. Picture you and your family in this dream scenario.
Now consider in what ways you are blocking yourself from achieving and moving towards that dream?
Imagine what it would take to address these blocks. Visualise yourself overcoming these barriers to achieving your dream.
Imagine yourself in years to come; the older wiser you. How does this version of you look in her eyes? How does she hold herself? How does she feel?
Imagine this older version of yourself standing before the woman you are now expressing gratitude to yourself for everything you have achieved and accomplished in your life so far. What other words of reassurance does the older you want to offer you right now?
Imagine the older version of yourself giving the present you a big embrace. Realise that your future self will be with you for the journey, always supporting and guiding you.
Spend as long as you like in this visualisation, breathing fully, and feeling gratitude for yourself until you’re ready to come out of the visualisation.

Final thoughts

Be easy on yourself in the moments when you’re not loving yourself as much as you could. Just know that in those moments, you are just a few exercises away from shifting into a long-lasting love affair with yourself. In fact, each time you fall out of love with yourself, you have another opportunity to love yourself that little bit more.

How do I fall back in love with myself now that I’m a mama?