Everyone in your child’s class is beginning to read books regularly, and every time you come to pick them up at the end of the school day, you can see their classmates engrossed in their latest read through the classroom window. However, your little one never seems to be interested in their book, and is usually sat cross-legged fiddling their thumbs instead!

You’ve become slightly concerned about this, and have tried to encourage your child to read by giving them a sweet treat as a reward every time they pick up her book. Although this seemed like a good idea at first, you’ve noticed that unless there’s a possibility of earning this sweet treat, your child isn’t at all interested in the concept of reading.

And so you wonder, how do you help your little one become genuinely interested and motivated in reading, while rewarding them for doing so in a healthy way?

Healthily rewarding your child is an incredibly important part of parenting, but one that many parents find difficult. And if you find yourself needing a little help in this department, then you’re certainly not alone.

First of all, let’s explore why healthily rewarding your child is so important.

Why is healthily rewarding my child important?

Many parents will want to reward their child when they feel they’ve done something worthy of being rewarded. However, they will often run into the problem of their child only being motivated by the idea of the reward itself, rather than being genuinely motivated to work towards the goal. As a parent, one of your responsibilities is to help your child develop self-discipline as they grow, and rewarding them in a healthy way is a huge part of this.

Now that we’ve talked about why healthily rewarding your child is so important, let’s explore some ways in which you can carry this out!

What are some ways I can healthily reward my child?

Firstly, understand what types of rewards your child likes and truly desires. To do this, ask them questions such as “If you could go somewhere with one of your friends, where would you like to go?”. Or, “If you had a pound, what would you buy?”. Or even “If you could do something special with Mum or Dad, what would you like to do?”

Find another word other than “rewards”. Some people will associate words like “rewards” or “bribes” with negativity. If this is the case for you, then try using different words to talk about them. For example, “motivators” could be much more fitting, and will help both you and your child associate rewards with goal-setting.

Using reward charts. Reward charts are a well-known way of motivating young children, as they allow them to view their progress as they go. They also happen to be interactive, fun, and give children the opportunity to get creative too. Reward charts allow your child to gradually become used to the feelings that come with behaving well, and can therefore turn these feelings into self-motivational actions.

Follow these tips when making reward charts:

Keep it simple and make it fun.

Work with your child. You can do this by letting them make daily entries on their chart, construct it and decorate it.

Create a chart that allows your child to visualise the reward they will attain at the end. For example, you could use a “connect the dots” chart to do this. To do this, ask your child to draw a picture of the reward they would most like. Then outline the outer limits of the picture with dots that are an inch apart. Each day that your child manages to carry out good behaviour, they will be allowed to connect one dot to the next. Once all dots are connected, reward your child with the prize. Over time, this will allow them to become self-motivated.

Place the chart in a location it is clearly visible and accessible for your child to admire - like on the fridge.

Make the chart as interactive as possible. You can do this by pasting on stickers, having different coloured stars, etc. This will allow your child to get creative and feel more invested in their chart.

Help them create a chart that contains both positive and negative entries. This will remind them of both types of behaviours, hopefully steering them back on track if they lose focus.

Keep the time until the prize is collected relatively short. For example, one week long. This is an amount of time that will help your child stay motivated. A chart that's time frame extends over a whole month will likely cause them to lose interest, patience, and their overall desire to work towards their goal.

Use creative rewards. If you can, try to get creative with how you reward your child and come up with some of your own ideas. For example, if your child’s favourite toy happens to be their dollhouse, then you could choose a piece of the doll’s house furniture as a weekly reward for keeping their room nice and tidy. This is a brilliant way for your child to relate the reward they want to the behaviour they have to carry out. You can emphasise this by saying something like “Let’s keep your room as tidy and beautiful as your dollhouse.”

How do I healthily reward my child?

Unii explains how to offer positive motivation.