As we’ve said before, all children are different in their own ways - and this is a good thing! However, all children being unique also means that some will suffer more with issues like anxiety, while others won’t. So if your preschooler has shown signs of being reluctant, lacking in confidence, regularly seeking reassurance or becoming tearful over relatively minor things in general, then they could be anxious. While it’s common for everyone to get a little worried or unsure from time to time, these feelings can be particularly stressful to encounter for a child, as they don't yet have the ability to properly articulate how they feel. This is why it’s important to know how to recognise anxiety in your child, what to do about it, and how to help as their parent or caregiver.

But before exploring ways that you can help, let’s first understand a bit more about why your child may be anxious, so you can feel properly informed before taking action.

Why might my child be anxious?

It’s not possible to pinpoint just one reason why your child might be anxious, without an extensive look into their everyday lives, their personalities and the specific influences they are exposed to. However, while anxiety can be triggered by a vast variety of causes, there are some which tend to be quite common at the preschool age, which we want to make you aware of.

Here are some possible roots of your child’s anxiety:

Attachment:

For little children, having a strong attachment to an adult is needed for them to feel safe and secure. And having a significant attachment to another adult is even more necessary if their parents are not present. So if you ever see your child becoming distressed, or unusually quiet when coming to collect them from the temporary care of another adult, take note of this. Their anxiety might simply be because they feel unsafe in the presence of other adults, as they haven’t formed a strong attachment with them yet.

Change:

It’s well known that many children find change difficult or alarming. Therefore, they can be prone to anxiety when in unfamiliar situations or when routines are altered. If this is the cause, the preschool age is the time when you are most likely to notice their reactions to these types of scenarios.

Experience:

Sometimes, children will go through a particular incident or experience that will trigger them to feel a little fearful or anxious. For example, if a door is slammed or someone raises their voice. See how they react to situations like this in the future, as it may be what’s causing their anxiety.

Low levels of self-efficacy:

Self-efficacy is the ability to imagine oneself as being potentially competent, and it’s something that often begins in the preschool years. However, when children are smothered by their parents sometimes they can grow up lacking in this area. Although your intentions will always be to protect your child, be aware that they might have become anxious due to this reason.

Now that you understand a bit more about what can cause your preschooler to feel anxious, let’s explore what you can do to help them.

How can I help my anxious child?

Avoid rushing them.

Some children need more time than others, and that’s absolutely fine! If your child is anxious or lacking in confidence, they will cope much better if they don’t feel rushed. Always try to give them plenty of time and space to process their feelings and take stock of the situation they are in. For example, if they are dawdling in the supermarket aisle when shopping, give them time to observe their space and try to be patient. After all, they’re still trying to make sense of their surroundings and figure things out! You will soon find that avoiding rushing your child will stop them from going into fight or flight mode and feeling anxious as a result.

Avoid pressuring them.

Another thing to avoid if you want your child to feel calm is pressure. Although some people respond well to pressure and thrive from the challenge of it, children often don’t know how to respond, and will end up panicking as a result. So the next time you feel the need to pressure your child, like if they are refusing to get in the bath, rethink your tactic. There are other ways to get them to behave than applying pressure.

Give them a routine

Everyone needs a routine to feel safe, secure and happy, especially children who are anxious. If you feel like their day-to-day lives are not properly grounded by a routine, then this is something you need to put in place for them. For example, make set times for breakfast, lunch, and supper, and always be firm about when it’s homework time or bedtime. Little changes like this help much more than you might think!

Empower them in any way you can.

Children who are anxious or lacking in confidence need love, support, and empowerment from their parents or caregivers. From being properly empowered, they can start to see for themselves in a new way, and start to build their confidence up slowly. A simple way to do this is to give them some small responsibilities, such as feeding the goldfish every day or watering the kitchen plant. They will slowly but surely start to feel empowered by this.

Takeaway Points:

It’s important to understand your child’s anxiety. Feeling anxious is normal, and will happen to most people at some point in their lives. However, children will find anxious feelings particularly stressful as they won’t know how to articulate them. As their parent or caregiver, it’s really important that you pay attention to signs that your child may be suffering with these types of feelings.

Learning to become more aware of your child’s anxiety will be helpful. Becoming aware of why your child may be anxious will help you to do something about it more quickly. On a day-to-day basis, look for signs that they might be reacting badly to change, or becoming highly triggered by something other children wouldn’t, such as a door slamming lightly. Also take into account any difficult experiences they may have had in their lives, like being exposed to frequent arguments.

There are many ways to help your child’s anxiety. There are several ways you can help your child if they are showing signs of being anxious, such as ensuring they have a secure routine, giving them time, and making efforts not to pressure them. However, remember that different tactics will work with different children, and it's just a matter of trying each one out to see how they respond.

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