After receiving a brand new bike for their birthday, your little one has been riding it pretty much non-stop. They just can’t get enough! As soon as they arrive home from school, the bike comes out of the garage, on they hop, and off they go – riding up and down the pavement with their friends. And you love that they’re having so much fun whilst getting in some exercise.

The problem is, once they’re done riding, they simply dump the bike in the driveway and head inside, never taking it into the garage, even though you’ve asked them over and over again. You’ve explained that it could easily be stolen, or even run over, but this has very little effect, so it’s up to you to bring it inside every night.

What’s more, this isn’t the only instance of your child not taking responsibility for their actions and simply expecting everything to be okay or taken care of by you. When will they learn that their actions have consequences and take some responsibility?

Before we offer up a few solutions, let’s quickly cover why we believe this lesson to be such an important one.

Why is it important for my child to learn that their actions have consequences?

Most of the success we experience in life comes from weighing our options and making wise choices. Having the ability to think ahead about both the negative and positive consequences of our actions, prevents many mishaps, and generally speaking, sets us up for success.

If children aren’t given the opportunity to learn that their actions have consequences, and that they have the power to choose how to act, they will struggle to make the right decisions later in life.

So, we’re fairly certain all parents will agree it’s a hugely important lesson! But how exactly do we teach them this?

How can I teach my child that their actions have consequences?

Let natural consequences teach your child to make the right choices. Experience is so often the best teacher. Let your child find out what happens when they don’t do their homework or put their bike in the garage. Yes, it’s a balance and you’ll need to make sure they don’t get seriously hurt, but don’t overprotect to the extent that they can’t make mistakes and learn from them. They’re bound to pick up a few bruises and scrapes along the way, but these are unavoidable and actually highly educational.

Offer guidance but let your child decide. Sometimes they’ll come up against something they haven’t experienced and they’ll need some gentle guidance. So offer your opinion and then back off and let the consequence (negative or positive) teach them a valuable lesson.

Treat consequences as teachable moments. Don’t use negative consequences as a chance to gloat and state “I told you so!”. Instead, help your child learn something from the consequence – perhaps that not doing your homework gets you in trouble with the teacher – and then remind them of this later down the line, when they’re playing video games and neglecting their schoolwork.

There are also positive consequences. And don’t forget that they’ll also need to see positive consequences to appropriate actions to want to keep them up. The child who does all their homework receives praise at parent’s evening. The child who puts away their bike gets a new one once they’re too big to ride it.

If necessary, set up logical consequences. Let’s use the scenario with the bike as an example here. You’ve probably spent a small chunk of change on said bike, and as much as you’d like them to learn a lesson, it would be rather a waste of your money if it were stolen. Now, we’re not suggesting that you organise a bike heist, but you could make a habit of placing it atop a shelf in the garage that’s a little way out of your child’s reach. Once they’ve learnt that it’s much easier to get to if they simply put it away themselves, rather than leave it to you, the carelessness should come to a stop.

How do I help my child learn that actions have consequences?

Unii looks at how to teach your child to take responsibility for their behaviour.