As parents of little preschoolers, we know that our children are at an age where they want to run about, explore, and get stuck into new things (literally!). Preschoolers are at the stage where generally, they actively enjoy making sense of new environments through touch. For example, rolling around in the grass is glorious, building mud pies and sandcastles is new and exhilarating. For them, engaging in activities like this is not just fun, but also very stimulating for their senses as they develop. However, remember that each and every child is unique, and some are more sensitive to certain things than others. One such thing that we hear a lot about is the fear of getting dirty.

So, before discussing how we can respond to this fear, let’s look further into why children have a fear of getting dirty.

Why do children have a fear of getting dirty?

As mentioned, all children are different. While for some, the prospect of getting dirty won’t even enter their little minds when rolling around in sloppy, wet mud with their friends, others will shudder at the very thought of it.

There are various reasons why some children may find it difficult to engage in sensory activities, including playing with paints, gloop games or making sandcastles. For some, even having the sensation of touching something sticky, grainy or wet is too much to bear. In terms of why this happens, it is linked to the way in which the brain handles information. In some children, the nerve endings in the hand will send signals to their brains, which will interpret the information incorrectly as a threat and send them into a 'flight’ response. To help you relate to what this would feel like, think about what your reaction would be if you thought a stove was too hot to touch. You would automatically snatch your hand away, of course!

Now that we’ve looked at why children might have a fear of getting dirty, let’s talk about how you can respond to these types of fears.

How can I respond to these fears?

When you see other children happily playing in the mud or making messy sandcastles with no bother at all, it can be difficult to see your child having such a tough time with situations like these. However tough it may be to watch your child struggling with these scenarios, try to remember that not all children will find sensory activities comfortable or exciting - quite the opposite, in fact. Instead of leaning towards feeling frustrated, understand that you have a key role in helping them deal with and sometimes overcome fears like this. Remember, a lot of children overcome fears they have in their preschool years!

Here are some useful points to take into consideration if your child has a fear of getting dirty:

Listen to your child. Listening is one of the most important skills to have as a parent. If your child doesn’t feel like you are holding space for them to talk about how they feel, the issues they have may manifest further. So when your child displays feelings of being frightened of dirt, ask them questions like, what would make you feel more comfortable? And always give them time to explain how they feel. Also, try to understand that children will find it more difficult to express themselves, so always give them time.

Take off the pressure. In situations where children feel afraid of something they deem to be ‘dirty’ it can be tempting to try to ‘snap them out of it’ by putting them into the situation. However, this may not be helpful. It’s better to find ways of removing the pressure from them. For example, even if they do decide to stand near the activity, perhaps try putting a bowl of water and a cloth near them so that they know they can wash their hands whenever they need to.

Reduce the sensory impact. Another strategy is to try to help your child remove the sensory impact of the materials they are interacting with. For example, this might mean wrapping dough in cling film or putting it in a clear freezer bag, instead of allowing them to play with it with their bare hands. This way, your child can handle the object but with reduced feeling, which may help lessen the anxiety over time.

Acknowledge your child’s reluctance. As a little child, there’s nothing worse than being made to feel as if they have ‘failed’ if they don’t want to use or join in with a sensory activity. The best thing you can do in a situation like this is to have compassion, as resisting their fears can make things worse. Use phrases such as ‘I can see you don’t want to join in with that activity right now, don’t worry about it’. Having this sort of tone and helping them believe that their reaction is normal, will leave the door open for them to perhaps have a go later on. This way, they won’t feel odd for having the fear, and will be relieved not to have pressure from you.

How do I help my child with their fear of getting dirty?

Childhood is a messy time. Help your preschooler embrace imperfection.