As a parent, there are few situations more frightening than being out and about with your child, only to look down and find that they are gone. Even having to imagine a situation in which your child wanders off will likely make you more than a little nervous, but it happens often and to many a parent, so it’s important that we know how best to go about preventing it.

When they’re in a new environment with plenty of people bustling about, many children stick to their parent or caregiver like a second shadow, but those more curious and courageous preschoolers often have a tendency to wander.

But why is that?

Why do some children wander off?

When children wander off, they will often have no idea that they have done so. They see something intriguing and before even they know it, their little feet have carried them away to get a better look. Children are ever-curious creatures, and when something catches their eye, more often than not, the desire to touch, look, smell and possibly even taste it will take over.

Other children wander because they simply want to be somewhere else. Whether this stems from boredom or from being overwhelmed, they feel an overpowering need to leave, either in search of adventure or comfort.

In some cases, children develop a habit of wandering off because they have found it to be an effective means by which to get attention. When a child wanders off, they receive a great deal of attention when found, whether by their caregiver or another adult. As one might expect, a lot of fuss is made, including shouting, lecturing, scolding, hugging, crying, and more. All of these perfectly understandable reactions from a worried parent, even if often negative, reinforce in the child’s mind that wandering off gets them a great deal of attention.

So, with all of this in mind, how do we effectively prevent children from wandering away without reinforcing the behaviour?

How do I prevent my child from wandering away?

There is no quick-fix solution when a child has developed a wandering habit, but there are several preventative steps we can take:

Learn their cues and triggers

If you know your child is a wanderer, you’ll likely know whether they wander out of curiosity, because they are overwhelmed, or for attention. You might even have come to recognise certain cues and triggers that either let you know to be on alert mode or even remove them from the situation. For example, let’s say your child, like many, finds big crowds overwhelming, and you’ve just walked into a loud and busy shopping centre. It might be a good idea to take their hand to prevent them from running off, or perhaps it is time to leave. Or maybe your child wanders when they are bored. You’ve noticed that when this happens they tend to look around, possibly for something to do. When you spot this particular cue, make your way over to them and direct them towards a fun activity.

Stay alert

A child who regularly wanders off needs to be given special attention, especially when out and about. Make sure that whoever is taking care of them - whether it’s the babysitter, a relative, or a preschool teacher - knows to keep an eye out and look for their triggers and cues. Hand-holding in busy areas, full of unsuspecting hiding places, is essential.

Explain safety precautions

A lot of children only have a vague idea of why they mustn’t wander off, so when something grabs their attention, there is very little instinct telling them not to head towards it. If you think you can explain in a calm and age-appropriate manner why wandering away can be dangerous, do so. However, younger children will often struggle to understand these concepts and can become easily confused, so make sure to plan what you will say and try to keep it positive. For example, instead of explaining all of the dangers that surround roads, explain the safety precautions we can take when we approach a road on foot.

“When you come to a road, you must stop and wait for me. When the green man lights up we make sure to look left and right for any cars, then we can cross the road together.”

It’s also very important that your child knows what to do if they do find themselves lost. In most cases, it’s much safer for the child to stay put while the adult searches, and teaching them to recognise the uniforms of shop assistants, policemen and other authoritative figures will allow them to ask for help from the right person.

Spread the word

It is essential that you talk to preschool teachers, nannies, babysitters, relatives and even neighbours, who look after or spend time with your child, about their wandering habits. The greater the awareness and the number of eyes on the lookout, the safer your child.

Gadgets and tools

If things become desperate, and you feel that the above measures will not suffice, consider buying a lead that they can pop on in public, giving you greater control. Or perhaps a bracelet with your details on in case they do manage to wander off. Unfortunately, there is a great deal of judgement and debate when it comes to child leads, however, if your child is a runner, there’s no shame in taking every precaution. Besides, the vast majority of children’s leads are perfectly comfortable and double up as fun backpacks that children can enjoy keeping their toys and a small snack inside of. Some parents also use GPS tracking systems on watches and bracelets carried by their children, which can provide them with an extra level of comfort.

How do I look out for my wandering child?

Unii has some helpful tips for concerned parents.