Although gynaecologists and obstetricians agree that our bodies can take longer to recover after a second birth, you’ll be happy to know that subsequent births tend to be a lot shorter than the first. For women who are giving birth for the first time, labour usually takes, on average, 8 - 12 hours from being 3cm dilated to fully dilated. For subsequent births, it can take half of that - about 5 hours.

Your body retains the memory of what it needs to do, making subsequent labours a lot smoother. Research also shows that second babies are more likely to be born on their due date, as opposed to firstborns who are usually born later than their due date.

You’ll also be pleased to know that a second birth causes a lot less structural damage to the pelvic floor. And if you’ve already put in the effort to train your pelvic floor muscles from your first birth, you’ll be in a much better position to restore their strength through exercise after your second birth.

But it's perfectly understandable if you're still feeling a little nervous or unprepared, but that's where we can help.

Before we take a look at ways you can prepare yourself physically and mentally for another child. Let’s touch on the pain of childbirth and explore why some women forget it, while others don’t.

Do we forget the pain of childbirth?

When it comes to pain in general, it’s important that we remember it. Our brains retain the memory of what hurt us, how it felt and our response to it to keep us alive and safe. When it comes to childbirth, however, most women will report that they forget the pain they endured. This “amnesia of childbirth” makes it easier for women to decide to have subsequent births.

However, for women who have endured difficult or traumatic births, it’s not always as easy to forget, and sometimes painful memories do not lessen over time. If you’ve had a difficult birth with your first child, when labour approaches the second time around, it can feel rather daunting.

According to the Birth Trauma Association, PTSD symptoms may not arise until you become pregnant again. Of course, every situation is different, but in general, for many women, having a second child acts as a healing experience for the first. This is because in general, the second birth is a lot more in line with the birth they envisioned for their first.

If your last birth was traumatic, then it is recommended by the Birth Trauma Association that before you become pregnant with your second child you express your feelings around your first birth in a professional environment, be it to your midwife, doula, therapist, counsellor or support group.

Whoever you decide to open up to, make sure you are supported by professionals who you trust and who are sensitive and empathetic to your needs and feelings. It is extremely important that you feel safe to express your concerns.

It may reassure you to know that many experts say it is very unlikely to have two traumatic birth experiences.

So let's take a look at how you can prepare for your next birth.

What can I do to feel prepared for my next birth?

Having a second child will inevitably be a lot easier in many ways, simply because you’ve done it all before! But here are some reminders to make sure you’re prioritising yourself in a way that helps you to feel more prepared.

Prioritise your physical health. If you’re having any physical discomfort in the lead-up to your next birth, get support from someone who specialises in your concern. For example, many women can have pain in their hips leading up to the birth. If you experience any bodily pain, consider seeing someone who can help, such as a chiropractor. Do some research and get some recommendations but whatever you do, get it looked at before it gets worse. Regular exercise and a nutritious diet are the two main ingredients to keeping your body and mind in good shape and supporting a potentially smoother birth.

Prioritise your mental health. If you suffered from postpartum depression after your first birth, then you’re more likely to experience it again after your second. According to the Association for Post-Natal Illness (APNI), 50% of women will experience a recurrence of postnatal depression with subsequent births. This can make the decision to have another child a daunting one. However, there is evidence to suggest that it is possible to reduce a recurrence. For example, injections and pessaries, as well as temporary antidepressants, are known to ease symptoms. Although, it's important to note, that there is some controversy among doctors and health professionals about whether antidepressants are harmful for the baby or not. Some say yes, while others say the benefits far outweigh the risks. The APNI advises women who have had previous experience with postnatal depression to prepare for the fact that they may have it again and to have a solid support system in place; make friends and family aware and have trusted health care professionals on hand.

Final thoughts:

Experiences that give you great joy and achievement often involve the equivalent amount of challenge. And we often consciously or unconsciously seek these challenges out, because we know on some level there is a tremendous amount of growth and self-knowledge that happens in the process. So just know on the other side of your challenging birth are huge rewards.

How do I prepare myself for giving birth to another child?

It's usually faster after the first one, says Unii.