After a long and tiring week, Saturday has finally arrived! The morning alarms are all turned off and the lie-in you’ve been so looking forward to is oh-so-sweet. But in the midst of a wonderful dream of a deliciously late breakfast and a truly relaxing day, you’re woken by a series of loud and raucous shouts that can only have come from your cheeky monkey of a preschooler. And after a short while, and despite the pillow clasped around your ears, you’re fully awake and there’s no hope of going back to sleep. Sadly, you wave the lie-in goodbye.

A week later, it’s raining outside, so instead of walking to preschool, this morning you’re taking the bus. Luckily there are two seats free and you sit down gratefully. Your eyes are still half-shut with sleep when suddenly your preschooler erupts into a fit of ear-splitting shrieks. There’s nothing wrong, they’re simply expressing their excitement at something or other, but you can feel the scathing looks directed your way by fellow sleepy passengers. You do your best to quiet your child but to no avail. Eventually, the bus pulls up outside of school, and you breathe a sigh of relief.

It can be frustrating when our kids scream and shout for no particular reason, and if we’re in public, we may even feel embarrassed. But almost all parents will agree that it is a very common behaviour in preschoolers and one that is rather difficult to manage.

But why then, when we’ve told them so many times not to, do they do it?

Why does my child scream and shout?

Children learn at a young age that making loud noises is a fast and effective way to attract the attention of adults. We react to loud noises because they can often signify danger, as we react to a child’s cry because instinct tells us they need protection. Soon, they’ve learnt that the louder they scream or shout, the greater our reaction, and even when we scold them, we reinforce their belief that shouting is an effective way to get our attention.

So, how do we put a stop to shouting?

How do I prevent my child from shouting?

Firstly, remember that young children can’t really be expected to stay quiet for very long. Preschoolers are exuberant little creatures, bubbling with energy, and when they're playing and having fun they should be allowed to enjoy making noise. However, when you’re trying to have a quiet night in or you’re strolling through the supermarket, you can be forgiven for wanting some peace and quiet.

Before you delve into the following 3 steps, it’s important to first consider your own behaviour. Do you shout instructions around the house? Do you yourself have a loud voice? Sometimes when children shout, it is a habit they have seen and copied from parents or other prominent role models, such as teachers. Consider these questions and if need be, make a few changes. Perhaps this means going over to someone when speaking to them instead of shouting from the kitchen (we all do it!).

Now, here are 3 steps to help prevent your child from shouting and screaming:

Noisy places and ‘noisy time’

When they’re out at the park or in the playground at preschool, children can and will make as much noise as they please. On the other hand, at home - with neighbours living either side of you, maybe even above and below you - there is a little less room for discussion. So make sure there’s a very clear distinction between those places where it is appropriate and inappropriate to shout and make noise. It can even be helpful to allot a small amount of time for noise-making every day, where for thirty seconds or so, you encourage your preschooler to shout and scream and get out all the noise they possibly can. This provides them with a legitimate outlet for their desire to make noise.

Ignore

And when they shout and scream outside the allotted noise time or when they’re making a great deal of noise in an inappropriate place, do your best to ignore it. They’ll be very used to getting big reactions out of you, so being ignored will come as a shock and might cause them to be even louder. So prepare yourself for a noisy couple of days! However, after a short while, they should learn to disassociate shouting from attention and gradually the behaviour will decrease.

Praise

It’s really important, both before and after your child begins to make changes to their behaviour, that you offer plenty of praise and positive commentary when they present appropriate behaviours that you would like to see more of. When they communicate without shouting or go to the store without yelling at the cashier, let them know how pleased you are and how happy their behaviour makes you. This will teach them that they don't need to shout and misbehave to get your attention.

How do I prevent my child from shouting?

Indoor voices are key, says Unii.