How do I raise confident and positive children?

If you could pass just one personality trait on to your child, is there anything better than confidence?

A confident child is a happier, healthier child, better equipped to deal with any challenges and frustrations that life throws at them. A parent's job is to help their child build this self-confidence and establish a healthy self-image. And while this might not sound all that easy, it does not have to be a complicated task, but rather a fun one that leads to an ultimately better and stronger relationship.

Before discussing strategies, let’s first distinguish between self-esteem and self-confidence.

What is self-esteem?

When we talk about self-esteem, we’re talking about how you feel about yourself and how you think others see you. People with healthy self-esteem know to love themselves, that they are valuable, that their opinions matter, and to accept themselves for who they are. Children with higher levels of self-esteem will go on to form healthier relationships, have realistic expectations of themselves, and live with greater independence.

In safe environments full of love and acceptance, children naturally build self-esteem as they grow from baby to toddler, from toddler to preschooler, and so on. If they’re given plenty of attention and praise, their self-esteem will continue to develop so that they become capable, adaptable kids, excited and willing to learn.

What is self-confidence?

Self-confidence, on the other hand, is believing in yourself and your ability to achieve. We are all better at some things and worse at others, whether it’s playing football, small talk, or acting. So sometimes our confidence will depend upon the situation. However, someone with healthy levels of self-confidence and self-esteem can have a go at all three and not be too disheartened if they sometimes struggle to succeed.

Happily, all children have different personalities, different traits and skills. While some have an easy-going temperament and take failures in their stride, others are unpredictable and struggle to cope with certain situations.

Similarly, we all have unique early-life experiences that affect our self-esteem and self-confidence. But there are many opportunities and plenty of things a parent can do to grow their child’s self-esteem and see them become positive and confident adults.

So how do we go about achieving this?

Nine steps to build your child’s self-esteem and self-confidence:

Unconditional love

It is how we treat a child that determines how they think we see them. Treating a child with respect and always showing unconditional love fills them with confidence and teaches them to always give their best shot.

Let them help

In general, kids love to help! Find age-appropriate tasks and take any opportunity for them to help you. They’ll feel a sense of accomplishment and recognise that you trust them.

Teach them about responsibility

Setting tasks and chores for your kids, such as laying the table for dinner, teaches them responsibility, improves their problem-solving skills, and boosts their competency.

Let them choose

If you allow your children to make decisions, decisions as simple as what clothes they wear that day, they feel empowered. This will help them to make their own difficult decisions later in life.

Have them do things for themselves

Even though it often takes them longer, try to encourage your children to do things for themselves. From putting their shoes on to getting themselves a cup of water, we gain confidence and learn new skills from consistent practice. And when they do well, be sure to praise them!

Join in with play

Try, as much as possible, to join in with any games and let your child take the reigns. Allowing them to lead demonstrates that they are worthy of your time and that they are important.

Ask for their opinion

When you ask a child for their opinion and advice, they learn that it is normal and okay to ask for help. Of course, don’t confuse them by asking anything too complicated, but something along the lines of, ‘Do you think we should go to the cinema or the park?’ makes for a great question.

Set a good example

Remember, as a parent, you are the most significant role model your child has! They watch you and determine how to behave, so learn to believe in yourself and try to speak positively about whatever it is you may be doing.

Praise your children

Finally, praise proves absolutely essential when it comes to building your child’s self-esteem.

How do I raise confident and positive children?

Give your child the gift of confidence with Unii’s steps.