“When we give children today what they need to learn, develop, and thrive, they give back to society in the future through a lifetime of productive citizenship.” - Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University 2016

When we look down at our little preschool children, playing house with their barbie dolls and action figures, it’s natural to wonder what adventures they have lying ahead of them in their own lives. We might think about what interests they’re going to develop, what people they’re going to meet, what relationships they’re going to have and what lessons they’re going to learn.

And while we don’t have control over what is going to happen in the future of our children’s lives, what we can control is what we choose to teach them in the present, and how we choose to value and nurture their various needs.

At the heart of our children’s needs is a term called PSED - Personal, Social and Emotional Development. PSED is the very building block of your child’s future success and happiness, and understanding how to cater to these areas is one of the most important lessons you can learn as a parent.

So, before talking about what you can do to nurture these areas of your child’s development, let’s understand a bit more about PSED and why it’s so important.

What is PSED and why is it important for my child?

As mentioned, PSED stands for Personal, Social and Emotional Development. Although different areas of development, they are closely linked, and often bracketed together as one area of learning and development. To break the meaning of this down a bit more:

Personal development is related to how we come to understand who we are as people, what we can do, and how we can look after ourselves.

Social development is related to how we come to understand ourselves in relation to others, how we make friends, understand the rules of society and behave towards others.

Emotional development is about how we come to understand our own and others’ feelings and develop our ability to stand in someone else’s shoes and see things from their point of view, referred to as empathy.

With the modern knowledge we have of the human brain, we now know that in order for your child to flourish, thrive, learn and develop in the healthiest way possible, then all of these areas need to be supported. To properly feed your child’s personal, social and emotional needs, is to help all elements of their brain work in harmony. To be able to recognise and articulate different emotions when they feel them, and therefore to be able to navigate life to the best of their ability.

To help you connect with just how vital it is to support your child’s PSED, think about how you would feel if you found yourself in a situation where you felt uncomfortable or scared, and did not have the right language or ability to explain how you felt. Now relate that feeling to your little preschooler, and step into their shoes. This is how they feel a lot of the time that they are around adults. And if those adults don’t have the right skills to listen and respond accordingly to their needs, then these uncomfortable feelings are exacerbated further.

How can I support my child’s PSED?

Now that you know more about why PSED is such an important part of your child’s development, you’ll probably be wondering how you can put this into action in their lives.

Here are some simple but effective ways to do this:

When engaging your child in a social situation with new adults or children, remember that they might have anxiety about being around people they don’t know. Try to cater to this by being sensitive to these feelings. If they vocalise any feelings of being uncomfortable, try to offer some soothing words, and encourage them gently.

If you ever see your child struggling in some way or another, take into account that just because you may see them excelling socially, for example, does not mean that they are excelling personally or emotionally. Remember, your child’s personal, social and emotional needs should dance together in sync for them to properly thrive.

Always encourage your child to talk about their feelings. If they bottle them up, then it might make things worse. If you know your child to have a shy personality, try to encourage them even further to express how they feel. As all areas of your child’s PSED are related, making sure one area is taken care of will help all the others!

Amongst your well-intended efforts to assist your child with their PSED, it’s good to remember that you are only human. This means you will make mistakes, you won’t always get parenting right, and you will get stressed at times. This is perfectly ok! As long as you are learning as much as you can and putting this into practice where possible, you will be helping your child’s PSED.

How do I support my child’s personal, social, and emotional development?