This article offers tips to help you teach your toddler confidence and independence with clothing rather than save you time in the mornings, even though that will eventually happen! The goal of teaching your toddler to dress themselves is not for parental benefit or time management; it’s about improving your child’s concentration and motor skills. It can improve your child’s sense of self, allowing them to participate in and better understand their own caregiving routine. It is also a quality bonding time for you and your child that will benefit you both differently.

When should I start teaching my child to dress themselves?

There is no medically recommended age for this, and you may find it easiest to respond to what your child is attempting to do alone. Some Montessori educators recommend starting as early as your child learns to stand, or between ten and eighteen months. However, there is no need to wait until your child can speak properly to start talking about what you are doing while you are helping them to dress. Narrate every step, from socks to hats or headbands. Take your cues from what they show interest in doing, such as lifting an arm or leg when you are trying to put on their t-shirt or trousers. There may be cute songs, nursery rhymes, or stories about dressing you can incorporate into your child’s recreational time with you. Repeat those as you’re helping them dress. Let’s look at some positive steps you can take towards having your toddler dress themselves.

Establish a morning routine.

As with so many aspects of your toddler’s development, they learn best through consistent behaviour. If you already have a morning routine in which they do not feel rushed or anxious and the time they are dressed is established, making the leap to dress by themselves will seem less dramatic to them. Try to see it from your child’s point of view. If you knew what always happened at this time every day, you would want to show your parents or caregiver you can do it by yourself, either because you want to be helpful or because you want them to see that you can do it alone.

Make the time to teach your child to dress, let them try to dress, and let them practice.

Try to give yourself 15-20 minutes to allow your child to attempt or practice dressing in the mornings. If time allows and it is safe, never help your child with a task in which they feel they can succeed. You may be surprised at how much they can accomplish alone. Don’t try to impede their desire for independence. If you have to rush, let your child do as much as they can. Stay calm and try not to let them know you need to rush, as this can upset them or cause resistance.

Let your toddler choose their outfits.

Give your toddler two or three age, event, and weather-appropriate options and let them choose what they want to wear. You may want to start off with just two outfit options, so they do not become overwhelmed. Your child doesn’t need a whole wardrobe for themselves at this age, especially if it isn’t cost-effective for your family. If you want them to have a wardrobe, you can show them their clothes neatly hanging up and ready for the week, as they probably see you and your partner’s clothes are kept. You could also keep their clothes in a low drawer that is easy for them to access, as long as this is safe for their hands. You can do the same with shoes, socks, pyjamas and underwear; keep them somewhere that it’s easy for them to see, choose, and select.

Understand that they will learn to undress first.

Undressing is a far easier skill to learn and much quicker than dressing, so don’t be surprised if your toddler both figures this out first and enjoys it more. You have probably been teaching your child to do this with hand-over-hand assistance before changing them into their pyjamas. To keep them from falling over when they attempt to do it themselves, use elasticated clothing and give them visual or verbal cues to practice undressing until they understand what’s what.

Use large, loose-fitting clothing.

You can start by helping them part of the way—putting tops over your toddler’s head, guiding hands into armholes, or putting feet into trousers—and then give verbal cues on how to do the rest by themselves. Be sure to praise behaviour they master independently every time so they are encouraged to remember and build on it. Your toddler thinks the world of you and basks in your positive attention, even if they sometimes appear to be resisting you. Resistance is normal in toddlers, but so is loving you as much as they did when they were babies.

Mistakes are OK.

If your toddler puts their shoes on the wrong feet or their jumper backwards, don’t rush to correct them. They accomplished something just by getting the clothing on, and there is no need to take that away from them. They may work out their mistake alone. If they seem uncomfortable, you can calmly observe the mistake aloud and let them correct it by themselves so you can praise how smart they are. Perfection isn’t as important to this process as your toddler’s confidence.

Help them understand that clothes need care.

Toddlers are often fascinated by the process of washing and drying clothes. It’s never too early for them to understand that we wash, dry, and iron our clothes so we look neat and smell nice. This does not mean you can’t let your toddler get their clothes dirty when they eat and play; they still get to be kids. However, there is nothing wrong with teaching them respect for what they wear, as well as for what you do to care for them. Have your child put their dirty clothes in a laundry basket or laundry bag at the end of the day.

For more advice on supporting your toddler’s wellbeing, watch Unii’s Toddler Health and Development Journey course with Dr. Nisha Patel.

How do I teach my toddler to dress themselves?

Unii recommends starting slow to help toddlers master dressing in their own fashion.