You’re in the car with your family, driving back from lunch at a relative's house. All is quiet and peaceful in the car until, suddenly, the familiar cry of your toddler pierces the air. “WHERE’S MY DUMMY?!” she screams.

You and your partner look at each other, a look of panic spreading across both of your faces as you simultaneously realise that you must have left the dummy at your relative's house, after taking it out of your little one’s mouth while they were eating lunch.

You consider turning back to get it before giving yourself a well-needed reality check. Your child really is past the age where they should be sucking on a dummy or pacifier, and you need to take steps to get them through this difficult stage.

But how on earth do you do this?!

Moving your child past the dummy/pacifier stage can be extremely difficult. However, it’s a necessary step that you need to take. With the right guidance, it doesn’t have to be a difficult process either!

But before moving into techniques you can use to help your child move past this phase, let’s understand a bit more about why children need to use dummies in the first place and why it’s important we help them move on.

Why do toddlers feel the need to use dummies? And why is it important we help them move on?

Sucking on a dummy or pacifier is a perfectly normal stage of development for a small child. Children find sucking on something like a dummy very comforting for different reasons. Some of them need something engaging to do with their hands, a toy to play with, or sometimes they are simply feeling the need for connection or are looking for a way to calm down their nervous system.

Although we have mentioned that sucking on a dummy or pacifier is extremely normal, it’s also very much meant to be a stage that is left behind once a child reaches a certain age. If they don’t, it will only hold them back. Some children that don’t break the habit of sucking their thumbs will sometimes carry this habit into adulthood - and you don’t want that!

Now, let’s look at some ideas you can follow to help your child confidently move past the dummy/pacifier phase!

How do I wean my toddler from their dummy?

It is a good idea to begin by casually mentioning that your toddler doesn’t really need their dummy anymore. This will gradually instil the idea that it might be time to get rid of it, and with any luck, they might decide there and then to relinquish their dummy. But they may also challenge you, so it’s important to have a good response prepared. Depending on your little one’s age and personality, you could say one of the following:

“Now that you’re 2 years old, you’re old enough to give up your dummy!”

“The dentist says you need to stop using your dummy, so your teeth stay nice and straight.”

“You often have your dummy in your mouth when you talk and this means I can’t always understand you.”

The important thing is to remain positive and calm, even if they are resistant.

One effective way of transitioning your child from their dummy is to use a sticker chart. Create a sticker chart together and hang it on their bedroom wall, letting them know that they get a gold star for each day they go without their dummy. What’s more, they’ll get an extra star if they go without it at night. When they’ve reached a certain number of stars, they get an exciting treat! This method will take a little longer, but it will likely see less arguing and crying.

Even with this method, your child may still find it difficult to get used to not having a dummy. So, what activities can your child do to help them with the change?

How can I transition my child from a pacifier/dummy?

Here are some stimulating activities that can help your little one get over losing their dummy:

Sucking yogurt through a straw.

Blowing bubbles.

Holding tightly onto a book or soft toy.

Using a bottle with a straw.

Blowing water through a straw to make bubbles.

A brisk towel rub after a bath.

Deep-pressure bear hugs.

Kneading dough.

Squeezing bath toys.

A slow, firm back rub.

Remember, even when you have taken your child through measures like this to stop them from feeling the need for a dummy/pacifier, it will take a little bit of adjusting for them to feel comfortable sleeping without it. If you feel like your child is struggling in the sleep department without their dummy, try giving them extra support. If this means an extra story at bedtime or an extra cuddle before they go to sleep, that’s absolutely fine.

How do I transition my child from a pacifier/dummy?

Unii shares how to tackle this sometimes tricky stage of toddler development.