As human beings, the ability to communicate with one another is at the very heart of who we are. It allows us to socialise, relate, negotiate, learn, grow, understand, and make ourselves understood. Now that you’ve reached adulthood, you’ll probably have a pretty good understanding of how good your communication skills are, how to use them to your advantage, and where they have impacted your relationships so far.

But when it comes to analysing the communication skills of your little ones, it can be a bit more difficult to spot whether the behaviour they are displaying is healthy for their development or not. We understand that youngsters can be a bit of a mystery, and we’ve found that educating ourselves on what’s going on inside their little heads can be extremely helpful!

Communication is a vast topic, especially when it comes to preschool children. So to start simple, we’re going to help you to understand how to communicate with your child in a way that will be suitable for their age, and that will prove beneficial for their development overall.

To begin with, let’s understand a bit more about the nature of communication itself, and how it can impact the behaviour of young children in general.

How does communication impact a child’s behaviour?

We know that the level to which someone can communicate matters within all age groups. But the difference with preschool children is that they are at a crucial stage of their development - a stage in which they are learning how to talk to, socialise with, and form relationships with others. And the ability to which a child has to communicate has been strongly linked not only to creating and maintaining positive relationships but also to maintaining good behaviour and good overall mental health.

To put this into an image that you can picture, a study once carried out by Ripley and Yuill (2005), showcased that 19 boys who had been excluded from school displayed language problems. Another study carried out by Schoon (2010) suggested that 6,941 children who displayed a poor understanding of language at age 5 carried on this trait into adulthood, and even showed signs of mental health difficulties, too.

The main message here is that a child’s ability to use communication and language in a sophisticated or unsophisticated way will majorly impact their behaviour and relationships as they go through life. Therefore, as parents, it’s important to hone these skills within them as early on as possible. After all, the more you help them learn at preschool age, the more positive behaviour you will be promoting in the long run!

Now the question is, how exactly should you go about this?

How can I communicate with my child healthily?

As we’ve previously mentioned, communication can be a complex topic, but that doesn’t mean that it has to be complex to put into practice. In fact, by simply becoming more aware of your everyday interactions with your child and making some small changes to how you speak to them, you can do them a lot of good.

Take note of these points for helping them develop healthier communication skills:

‘Elaborative’ talk can have a huge impact. Out of all the forms of communication, ‘elaborative’ talk or spoken language is very important for children as they grow, and will help them with broadening their social contexts, and furthering their emotional and behavioural development. It really helps them with making sense of events and emotions, evaluating things that have happened and relating them to other experiences. Therefore, when you are interacting with your child, encourage them to talk about their feelings and their mental state. Encourage them to give their opinion, while being sensitive to others' perspectives and feelings. Finding the right balance when it comes to elaborative talk is crucial for the development of their communication skills.

Communication is more than verbal language. When talking about communicating with our kids, it’s normal to simply think about what we’ve said to them in a verbal sense. But remember, communication on a wider level is about sending and receiving messages, and not necessarily through words! While most people are pretty perceptive to non-verbal messages, children are particularly good at noticing an unintentional frown, crossing of arms or shaking of the head. Even if you aren’t aware of these behaviours you may be displaying when interacting with your child, it’s good to consider what messages you could be sending them.

Social (pragmatic) communication is important. Another type of communication is social, or pragmatic communication, which includes aspects of communication such as taking turns, signalling a change of topic and adapting communication to take account of the partner’s status (e.g. talking differently to a teacher and a peer). Your child must learn how to develop social communication skills early on, to not appear rude or inept in social situations. To help them with this, take note of their ability within this area, and calmly but firmly, steer them towards how they should behave. Also, do take note of the fact that some children's pragmatic communication can suffer due to other issues such as stress or feeling uncomfortable and not knowing how to react.

Environment can have a huge impact. For children to feel comfortable learning how to communicate properly, they need to be in a space in which they feel safe. Environment can have a huge effect on our kids, therefore it’s important that you provide one that promotes their positive mindset, and therefore creates opportunities for them to develop good communication skills.

How should I be communicating with my child?