For them to grow up to be strong, proud, happy humans, full of confidence and healthy amounts of self-esteem, children need consistent and continual praise. As a parent, it’s very easy to fall into the trap of generic praise, and spurt out the odd, ‘well done you’ or ‘that’s fantastic’, but sometimes this sort of praise just isn’t enough and actually proves to be unhelpful.

So, how do we praise effectively?

Be sincere

Children are more intuitive than we give them credit for, so be honest in your praise. Express your excitement and that you are proud, but do not overdo it or make observations that simply aren’t true, as this will confuse them. On the other hand, generic, nondescript praise won’t boost their confidence, so try to find a good balance.

Find opportunities to praise

Look for opportunities to praise and do it often! Be honest and focus on the things they have done particularly well. Congratulate them for doing up all the buttons on their jacket, or comment on the pretty colours they used when they made your wonderful birthday card.

‘I really love your use of all the different colours. How beautiful!’

Do not compare

Do not compare your child to other children, whether it be a sibling or friend. Telling a child that they have done better than another encourages unhealthy competition and promotes arrogant tendencies. Instead, focus on their achievements.

Allow them to overhear praise

We all feel great when we receive praise, but perhaps even more so when it’s overheard. Intentionally allowing your child to overhear sincere praise boosts their self-esteem and confidence, as it demonstrates that your praise is truly genuine.

‘They did so well yesterday at their first swimming class!’

How should I praise my child?