Most of us fall victim to unsolicited advice. But this becomes especially true when it comes to pregnancy and parenting; it appears that every woman has the best piece of advice that you simply must try.

While the advice is intended to be helpful, it can feel increasingly frustrating, and in some cases emotionally violating, when people offer advice that isn’t asked for.

When you’re exhausted and hormonal in your third trimester, the last thing you want to hear is, “Oh, you just wait until the baby’s born, it’s harder than you think! Enjoy sleeping while you can.”

Whether it’s a worrying comment from an in-law or a bombardment of frightening birth stories from people you barely know, it can seem so overwhelming at times that you just want to scream, “Leave me alone!”

If unsolicited comments and advice are making you increasingly frustrated, it may help to consider these things.

Things to consider when dealing with unsolicited advice:

Remember, it’s not about you, it’s about them. A good way of stopping unsolicited advice in its tracks is by asking them questions about their own experiences. So, if a co-worker comments on a belly oil you should be using, you could say “I’ll take that into consideration, thanks, did you find that the oil helped you?”
Look but don’t try. Think of unsolicited advice like window shopping. You can look from afar and maybe you’ll look a bit closer and maybe even decide to try it on, but you don’t have to commit; you don’t have to take every piece of advice as gospel.
Consider it practice for parenthood. If you think that people are bombarding you with advice while you’re pregnant, wait until you’re a parent! Unfortunately, there will always be people who feel as if they are free to comment on the way you should and shouldn’t parent, so consider this good practice for parenthood. You’ll get everything from whether your child’s too old to have a dummy to how they are acting in public.

Find the humour. Sometimes the best way to deal with unsolicited advice is to laugh it off. If a stranger reaches out to touch your belly, you could rub theirs back!
Express yourself. If they are people you don’t know well, you could say a short and sweet, “Okay, thank you”, and walk away. Or, you may want to share how you’re feeling: “I’m sorry you went through that, but when you share these kinds of stories with me I feel stressed and very uncomfortable. I’d rather not talk about that.” And if someone touches you without permission, you are well within your rights to tell them to stop.

How to deal with unsolicited advice during pregnancy

It's not always what you want to hear but you can be sensitive.