In part 1, we explained the four distinct phases that help you to identify when you’re about to lose your temper. Now we are going to share some strategies to help you navigate these triggering moments and avoid losing your temper and exploding in ways that you end up regretting.

As we mentioned in part 1, noticing is one of your superpowers and is key to interrupting the cycle of reactivity.

The thing is, there are so many ingredients that determine how you’ll respond; sleep, diet, circumstance, so many things influence your ability to respond. Sometimes you may find yourself losing your temper over something small, and other days you may find yourself responding calmly amidst a huge crisis.

Although life can be unpredictable, what we can do is try and bring a calm consistency to how we respond, rather than reacting like a puppet on a string to external triggers.

If you’re triggered or would like some more understanding of your triggers, the best place to start is to notice your thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations. Here are a few ways to help you understand yourself better in these moments.

What strategies can I use to prevent me from losing my temper?

Notice your thoughts. What thoughts are you thinking? Are you worried about how your child’s doing at school? Are you mulling over what your friend said? Are you obsessing about something work-related? This is not about fixing or changing anything. This is about getting curious and noticing what you’re thinking about and how it feels to think these thoughts.

Notice your feelings. What are you feeling? Anxious? Angry? Stressed? Scared? Whatever the feeling is, remember that feelings don’t last forever. The important thing to know here is that everything you’re feeling is OK. But the behaviours associated with those behaviours aren’t always OK. Noticing what you’re feeling will help you not to react to the feeling.

Notice bodily sensations. How is your body feeling? Do you have any aches and pains in your body? Is your heart beating more quickly than usual? Does your stomach, chest or throat feel tight? Noticing the pain or tension in the body is the first step to soothing it.

Notice what you’re doing. It’s very easy for our brains to go on autopilot to reserve energy. So try and bring more awareness to what you’re doing. Whether you’re driving, drinking a coffee or typing on your computer, take a moment and notice what you’re doing.

Notice your breath. Our breath is such a resource and most of us don’t utilise it to its best ability. Simply noticing the breath can be such an effective way of creating calm in the chaos and instantly soothes the nervous system. Try slowing and deepening your breath and take three deep breaths at various times throughout the day.

How to notice when you're about to lose your temper (Part 2)

Unii shares how to identify and manage your temper triggers.