In part 2, we shared strategies to help you navigate stressful moments and avoid losing your temper and exploding in ways that you end up regretting.

We also explained how being present with what you’re experiencing and understanding that everything is temporary is key to helping you feel calmer during stressful moments.

One of the best ways to strengthen the noticing part of your brain is by meditating. Meditation helps you to simply become an observer of your experience, rather than a reactor.

We’d love to offer you a meditation practice to help strengthen the noticing part of your brain.

An exercise for advanced noticing:

Find somewhere quiet and comfortable at a time when you know you’re not going to be disturbed for about twenty minutes or so.

Put your phone on aeroplane mode or Do Not Disturb and set a timer for twenty minutes.

Choose something to focus on. Some people like to focus on their breath, but choose whatever works for you. Maybe it’s a visualisation of you sitting on a mountaintop, repeating a mantra, or holding your breath for various counts. Or maybe you prefer to use a pre-recorded guided meditation.

When your mind wanders (which it will), notice the content of your mind. It’s normal to have worrying or critical thoughts. The key is not to question or judge your thoughts. Simply notice.

The moment you realise your mind has wandered, go back to what you were focusing on in the first place: your breath, counting, a mantra, your mountain top. Pick up where you left off and start again.

Keep bringing your mind back to your point of focus until your timer goes off.

If you notice that your mind has wandered a hundred times during that meditation, remember, that’s normal. And it doesn’t mean you have failed at meditation. It means you have practised noticing a hundred times, which is exactly what we’re after!

We recommend doing this exercise every day when you find twenty minutes of free time.

When you implement the exercise of noticing into your lifestyle, you will notice yourself feeling more present to what’s around you and will be less prone to being swept up in the chaos.

Here are some other ways you can strengthen the noticing muscle;

Keep a smooth stone in your pocket and every now and again, feel the sensation of holding it.

Wear a beaded necklace or bracelet (often referred to as a mala). Run your fingers across the beads one by one as a reminder to breathe.
Write positive reminders on post-it notes and stick them in places where you will see them.

Hang up religious or spiritual images around the house (or anything that gives you that feeling of grounding and connection). You may even want to have one of your favourite pictures of you and the kids that you can use for moments when you feel frustrated with them.

Set reminders on your phone throughout the day that remind you to check in with yourself and breathe.

How to notice when you're about to lose your temper (Part 3)

Unii teaches you temper-tackling meditation.