We live in a world where becoming triggered is way too easy. These triggers happen so often during our daily lives, that many of us might not even notice them. They can happen every time we cross the road, every time we’re startled by our child’s high-pitched scream, and every time we detect our partner’s tone is a little off for some reason or another.

While triggers are a normal part of the human experience, it’s healthy to analyse what’s going on inside our bodies when we respond to stress in this way. Because if we are able to take a moment to breathe, and notice how we feel, then we are giving ourselves a chance to calm down and think more clearly before reacting.

So, let’s explore how you can get better at noticing when you’re becoming triggered, and therefore becoming more aware of the thoughts, feelings, behaviours, and bodily sensations associated with this.

First up, let’s list some common tells that you might be able to relate to.

What are some common tells?

Some common tells include:

Anxious, obsessive or “stuck” thinking.

Physical tension such as hunched shoulders or a tight back.

Feeling irritable or annoyed.

Micromanaging your children or nitpicking on their behaviour.

Engaging in drinking, gambling, or compulsive eating.

Making rude comments under your breath.

Rolling your eyes.

Biting your nails or picking at your skin or scabs.

Repeatedly checking social media or picking up your phone often.

Worrying about needing to get things done right away.

Rushing unnecessarily.

Losing your temper with your children.

But how can I deal with my tells once I’ve recognised them?

Recognising your triggers may just be the first step, but it’s a huge first step! It’s the key to you discovering more about yourself, and understanding why you may react the way you do. Remember that being triggered is extremely normal, and that it will take practice to respond skillfully to each and every trigger. Although it may feel difficult at the time, whatever challenges you find yourself up against aren’t a moral failing, you’re not a bad person or a bad parent for experiencing them. Instead of feeling worried about your tells and triggers, reach out to someone. Perhaps your doctor, your friend, your therapist, or a support group. They will be able to help direct you onto a healthy path to dealing with your tells and triggers.

How to recognise your tells

Everyone has them. Unii explains how to understand yours.