As much as you love them more than words can express, your baby is driving you a little crazy today. With their first birthday approaching, they’ve been eating solid foods for close to 6 months now, and they’re pretty good about it. They love to eat whatever’s placed in front of them, and they always finish their cup of water. But today, after just one bite, they’ve thrown their food on the floor and somehow managed to pull the lid off their sippy cup, only to empty the contents all over the table.

So now you’re desperately trying to keep the dog from helping themselves to the food on the floor, whilst trying to mop up the water on the table. Meanwhile, your baby is screaming in anger. For a split second, the chaos is a little too much, and you feel a rush of anger surge through you and eventually escape in the form of a shout.

“STOP!”

It has next to no effect, as your baby barely hears you over their own high-pitched voice, but you still feel a little guilty for having lost your cool. Yet when they’re so outwardly mischievous, what can you do to let them know this behaviour is unwanted? They won’t understand a lecture, they’re probably too young for time-outs, and even shouting feels cruel. So how do you discipline your baby? Does a baby even need discipline?

When you were naughty, your parents would get the slipper out and give you a sharp spank on the bottom, but surely that’s not the way to go?

Is spanking an acceptable form of discipline?

Ultimately, the answer is NO, and for three pretty conclusive reasons. One, it’s harmful, and two, it doesn’t work as a form of discipline. Babies’ bodies and brains are simply too fragile for any form of corporal punishment, not to mention the fact that they’ll likely feel unsafe in their home environment and around the people who love them most. To top it off, babies are far too young to make a connection between spanking and desired behaviour. Even in older children, physical punishment has so often been linked to aggressive temperaments, depression, anxiety, and increased defiance, so it really offers zero benefits. Finally, spanking children of any age is unlawful in Scotland, Wales, and many other countries around the world.

So let’s take a look at the best ways to discipline a baby.

How can I discipline my baby?

Well, the truth is, babies are generally far too young to understand cause-and-effect thinking, which means that once they do something, they rarely understand that the consequences are the result of their actions. Once this cognitive thinking develops, and they begin to understand the word “no”, you’ll find it’s a bit less of a losing battle. Having said that, we would like to encourage you to avoid words such as “no” and “don’t” and instead provide positive instructions. For example, when your little one throws their food on the floor, instead of saying “Don’t do that!”, you can tell them “Food belongs on the plate or in your mouth, not on the floor.”

You can also keep the following in mind:

Stay attuned to your baby. In their very first year, stay attuned to their emotions and needs. And don’t forget that the more nurturing you are, the less oppositional behaviour you’ll likely see.

Keep appropriate developmental expectations in mind. While they’re still just a baby, your little one will find it next to impossible to control themselves, so try to always keep this in mind.

Think about how you want to use discipline as a parent. Whilst they’re still young, you can train and reflect on your parenting style and how you will effectively discipline your child in the future.

Is it okay to spank my baby?