You’ve noticed something different about your child. One day, they suddenly became obsessed with a specific toy. Like, really obsessed. Now they ask for it constantly, it’s the first thing they ask for when they get home from school and the last thing they ask for before bed. But as soon as you give it to them, they ignore it and move on, only to ask again a few minutes later. Is this normal behaviour?

Obsessive behaviour is a common thing with children, and don’t worry if your child starts developing some fixations on things. However, some habits and routines can impact how our little ones interact with the world. We’re here with strategies and tips to guide your little ones through these phases in their early development.

But first, let’s take a look at some of the signs of obsessive behaviour.

What’s the difference between liking something and being obsessed with it?

Here are the 4 key signs your child might be developing obsessive behaviour:

The child might request the object of desire constantly, then immediately lose interest once it has been given to them.

They become obsessed with a specific event, such as a birthday party, happening a long time in the future

Your child may become fixated on inanimate objects.

They develop routines that look similar to obsessive-compulsive disorder.

If your child is following any of these behaviours, there’s no need to worry. It’s a fairly common behaviour amongst young children. But why do these patterns develop?

So why do children become fixated?

Here are the main 4 reasons a child may develop obsessive behaviour:

Having these ritualistic routines can give a child a sense of safety and security. It gives them control of their immediate surroundings and makes them feel safer.

A child may have sensory issues. If their routine involves something like pinging an elastic band on their wrist, each ping gives them satisfying sensory feedback.

They might not be obsessed with the item, but with the routine of the parent giving it to them. This can come from the child seeing this interaction as a nurturing experience, something they seek when they feel like they’re not getting enough attention.

A child might also want to see if they can control the adult into doing something for them. Again, the actual focus is on the parent interaction, not the object.

Now that we know why some children develop obsessive behaviours, let’s have a look at what strategies we can employ to help your child through this phase in their development.

What strategies can I use to help my child’s behaviour?

Let’s have a look at the 5 best strategies to help children overcome these fixations:

When the child manages to get the item they want, it is almost always a disappointment. Try to wonder aloud what the child might be trying to achieve by asking for the item. For example, “You seemed a bit disappointed when you got your toy. I wonder if it’s because what you actually want is my attention?” You’ll be surprised at what your children might answer with!

Keep a cool head. It can be hurtful when a child casually discards something you’ve given to them. But remember, it’s almost never about the object in question.

Don’t be afraid to say no! It can be hard, but sometimes you may have to tell the child they can’t have the item yet, and it is not up for discussion.

Regarding specific events in the future, a visual aid can help. Consider marking the date on a calendar, and referring to it when the child mentions the date. So when they have a birthday coming up, they can check what date it is, rather than constantly asking you.

Consider if this is a big issue. What level is the obsession running at? Is it impacting family life, or their relationships with friends? If not, it might be best to just let it run its course.

So, now that we know the best strategies for coping with fixations, they’ll be a thing of the past!

Is my child developing obsessive behaviour?