You’ve noticed something that might be a tad unsettling. Your child still uses baby-talk, they’re still attached to their baby toys and bottles and they can’t seem to get a handle on potty training. Other children, however, are the same age yet seemingly more mature. You wonder - Is there something wrong? Is my child immature for their age? What exactly is happening?

Before the doubt takes over your mind, don’t worry! All children develop at their own unique pace. But we understand how it can be hard for you as a parent if you think your child isn’t maturing at a ‘typical’ rate.

We’re here to help you through your thoughts and worries, and to remind you that most parents worry about this problem at some point in their child’s development - It’s going to be okay.

Before we explore why your child may be taking a bit longer to mature than others, let’s look at some signs to look out for.

Why might I think my child is immature?

Here are common behaviours that signal our preschoolers might need some guidance:

Your child is not able to feed themselves.

They are still overly attached to dummies and baby bottles.

They are still learning how to potty-train after the expected age.

They have a similar sleep pattern to a baby.

They use a baby-voice most of the time.

Let’s explore the reasons why children might be following behaviours that are not consistent with their age.

Why is my child behaving like this?

These patterns of behaviour may seem like there are no clear answers, but actually, it can be the result of many distinct factors. Let’s take a look at some key reasons:

A child might be seeking safety in what’s familiar. This need to feel safe and secure can stop children from trying new things and developing new skills. They are familiar with the boundaries and relationships that came with early behavioural patterns.

They might be overwhelmed by a fear response. Not only that, but they’ve been in ‘fight or flight’ mode for so long that it has left little ‘space’ for growth.

In specific cases, a child might have experienced early trauma. You know your child best so if such an event has happened in their life, it might give you an understanding as to why this issue is happening.

Now that we’ve looked at the reasons for immature behaviour, let’s look at how we can provide solutions and strategies for our little ones.

How can I help my child with their development?

Here are the 6 top strategies for helping your child work through developmental issues:

Spend some time observing your child and looking at developmental milestones. You might find that your child is meeting goals in certain areas but functioning at a younger age in others. That’s okay! Creating a baseline for what your child still needs to develop can help manage your expectations.

You may just need to follow their behaviour and go with it, especially in cases involving trauma. Sometimes a child just needs a little more nurturing for them to move past the need for that specific behaviour. This can include bottle feeding and feeding by hand.

If you find their behaviour irritating you, keep a level head. A few deep breaths can really help before you respond. You can also address the situation verbally. For example, “When you use your baby voice, I find it hard to understand you. If you use your big voice, I can understand and help you better.”

In the case of age-appropriate toys, they might not be able to play with them. Try going back to activities suited for younger children. Meeting them at their level provides a chance for them to catch up.

Avoid putting pressure on your child by setting expectations too high. It would be unreasonable if someone asked you to walk when you can’t even crawl! Lower your expectations and see that your child’s needs are met first.

Develop a thick skin! There will be a certain amount of people that might tell you how and when a child ‘needs to learn.’ But not all children fit within conventional expectations of development, and that’s okay! Ultimately, care for and love your child the best way you can. If that doesn’t conform to how other people raise their kids, that doesn’t mean they’re entitled to deliver unsolicited advice!

The concern about if your child is developing at a ‘proper’ pace is something all parents worry about at one point or another. But children develop at their own pace, and it’s up to us to accommodate their needs. These solutions can help you to look at their behaviour from a different perspective and give you the confidence to cherish your little one’s journey.

Is my child immature for their age?

Unii shares when you be concerned about your child’s maturity.