Asking your partner for a change, whether behavioural or circumstantial, can be an intimidating prospect, but it is a necessary part of any healthy relationship. As new parents, there is even more potential for miscommunications, so mastering this skill is very important. Follow these tips to help you respectfully ask your partner for a change:
1. Gather your thoughts. It’s important not to speak to your partner on impulse, as this can lead to aggressiveness or impatience. Instead, carefully consider exactly what change you want, why you want the change to occur, and how it can be implemented.
2. Speak lovingly. Tone is everything when bringing up a problem. Make sure that you speak gently and compassionately. Try starting the conversation with something understanding, such as “I know you’ve been stressed lately, and I really understand that, but I don’t like it…”
3. Be clear. Ambiguous language can be tempting when you are cautious of hurting your partner’s feelings, but it’s crucial to be as clear as possible. If something is making you upset, then say exactly that!
4. Have patience and understanding. Sometimes, your partner may respond defensively or frustratedly to your comments, even if they are reasonable. In such cases, it is crucial that you keep calm and don’t rise to it. Understand why they may have reacted in a certain way, and be patient with them.
