It’s Monday, the start of a new week! However, you wake up with a sense of dread. You know your child is going to spend some time getting up and then getting changed. They're going to take a long time to eat breakfast and even longer to finally get out of the house. This is a routine occurrence and it’s driving you crazy! How can you keep your child from being late and get them to look forward to waking up?

Sometimes, it takes all of our strength to get up in the morning. Even as adults, it can sometimes be hard to keep track of the time. But with children, we try to instil good habits from the start. Lateness can often be some of the more frustrating habits a child can pick up.

Don’t worry! It’s a common habit and one that many parents deal with eventually. With our solutions and strategies, your child will be looking forward to getting up each morning and possibly being ready to go out of the house before you!

Let’s have a look at how lateness can manifest itself in everyday situations.

What does lateness look like?

Here are the 4 key signs that your child might be developing a habit of lateness:

They struggle to get up in the morning and refuse to get out of bed.

When walking, the child walks behind, slowly increasing the distance between you.

Your child deliberately does everything slowly, whether it’s eating breakfast, getting changed, or putting on shoes for school.

Your child is often late for school or other appointments.

Now that you know the signs, we’re going to talk about the reasons children develop this habit.

Why is my child continuously late?

Let’s take a look at the 5 main reasons that cause children to show this behaviour:

Your child might have difficulty managing transitions.

They might have issues with memory, or may not have developed their time-keeping skills. This can lead to a lack of awareness regarding time.

Your child might be doing this to elicit a reaction from you, if they know what buttons to push, this might be a reliable way to get attention!

They might need to feel in control and powerful. In their mind, they’re trying to regain control of their timetable and schedule.

They may need to develop their cause-and-effect thinking. They might not know that if they take their time with a certain activity, this will make them late for other things down the line.

Understanding this, we can now take a look at how we can go about using strategies and solutions to improve your child’s behaviour.

How can I prevent my child from developing this habit?

Here are the top tips to help prevent your child from being late:

Be prepared! Make sure you have plenty of time before you have to leave for the next appointment. Clearly state what time you need to leave and how much time the child has left. If they’re having issues with their time-keeping skills, this can be a tremendous help in supporting them!

Try to be as efficient as possible! The night before, make sure packed lunches are ready, clothes are out and school bags have everything they need. The less tasks a child needs to do in the morning, the speedier they will be!

Remember, what you see as lateness might be a child responding in fear. Has something happened at school? Is there something about the morning routine that they’re wary of? It can help to change your perspective, and to ask your child these questions.

Avoid statements like “you’re making us all late” or “we’re all waiting on you!” This can signal to the child that they now hold all the power in this situation. It's as good as telling them, “you are in complete control of our day.”

If you have a partner or friend, they can help with time-keeping. If your child is going to make everyone late, your partner could take them to school whilst you focus on yourself and others who are ready to go on time. This works especially well if your child is trying to trigger you into a response as it shows them that you are not affected by their lateness.

If your child is struggling to get out of bed, consider turning their lights on 45 minutes before they're due to get up. This can help them acclimate easily to waking up.

Plan their morning routine, so that all the fun stuff happens after the boring stuff. December is a great month for kids because they can open their advent calendar just before heading out the door! Also, you won’t believe how speedy children can be if being on time means they get 10 minutes of TV time!

What about if they’re still resisting?

If they’re still resisting, here are some solutions to use right as they’re being late:

Keep reminding the child of their current task, “what should you be doing right now?”

Keep moving forwards. Show the child that you’re in control. For instance, if they’re taking their time getting dressed, you might say, “That's okay, I’ll pack your clothes in your bag and you can walk to school in your pyjamas and get changed there.” Most children will not want to end up looking different and will change promptly.

Wonder aloud what the child might be feeling. “I wonder if you want us to be late because you don’t want to go to school? I wonder why that might be?” This can hopefully open up a space for your child to talk about their feelings.

If you can, allow the child to be late. Appear unconcerned as your child tries to get a reaction out of you. Secretly, you might have already told work you’ll be 10 minutes late, or called ahead to let the school know of the situation. Failing to get the response they want, the child will be deterred from trying again.

If you follow these strategies and solutions, you’ll find that your child will be rushing out of the house in the morning!

My child makes us late for everything! How can I change their behaviour?