Authoritarian parenting, sometimes called traditional parenting, is one of the three original parenting styles defined by developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind, along with authoritative and permissive. We write “original” because the term "parenting style" is generally traced back to Ms. Baumrind’s work. People were parenting long before this, and, as it’s a dynamic process influenced by more than a parent’s choices. It’s likely that even in the 1960s, when Ms. Baumrind’s research on this subject was first published; parenting didn’t fall strictly into consistent styles. The authoritarian style, as the name suggests, is characterised by a strong degree of control over children’s lives and behaviours, demands for unquestioned respect, a lack of explanation for rules, punishment for poor behaviour, and a lack of respect for and flexibility around a child’s independence and free will. Research shows that this style promotes poor self-esteem, a need for external instruction from an authority figure, and a decreased capacity for independent thought in children, as well as psychological problems like anxiety and depression.

Of the styles associated with Baumrind, authoritative has long been believed to be the most positive for a child’s overall development and wellbeing. However, given that researchers now take a more nuanced view of parenting styles, parenting is difficult to study consistently, and many more styles have been named in the last sixty years, it is difficult to call any one way to parent children superior to all others. As some aspects of authoritarian parenting are known to affect children negatively, however, it’s still an important style to be aware of when considering how to embark on your own parenting journey. Let’s look at it in more detail.

Characteristics of Authoritarian Parenting

High standards

While some authors associated authoritarian parenting with military obedience, Baumrind’s reference was Susanna Wesley, often dubbed the “mother of Methodism,” who believed that “self-will is the root of all sin and misery” and had high expectations of her strictly scheduled children. High standards for kids are not exclusive to authoritarian parents, and there’s nothing wrong with being ambitious for your children and conveying that to them. However, imposing any standards that drive them to unhealthy extremes of behaviour, make them believe your love must be earned, turn them against their siblings, or destroy their self-esteem are obviously problematic. Alternative means of encouraging high standards include showing you trust children with responsibilities and rewarding evidence they’ve worked especially hard to achieve a goal. Celebrating each child’s individual strengths as a family is also important, especially where children are twins or close in age.

Strict rules

Rules are part of life and keep society in good order; teaching your children to follow them is no bad thing in and of itself. Unii’s experts often say that multiple parenting tasks are made easier by a routine, from sleep to feeding and avoiding tantrums, and children benefit from this. However, authoritarian parents’ rules are enforced with no flexibility, which can encourage rebellious or secretive behaviour as a child develops and individuates. Explaining why a rule is necessary and showing flexibility where prudent could be more effective and ultimately encourage better communication with and honesty from your child.

Strong discipline

Physically disciplining children may be against the law where you are, but, even if it isn’t, research shows that this parental behaviour leads to aggression, violence, and bullying behaviour in children. Shaming by adult caregivers can also have long-term psychological effects. Other authoritarian forms of discipline include threatening to remove privileges or freedoms to act as deterrents from behaviours parents do not like and then following through with these threats when the behaviour happens. Discipline is one of the most controversial topics in parenting. In general, it is an important means of showing children that actions have consequences, but modern parents favour more positive forms, including rewarding good behaviour and correcting bad behaviour in a calm, non-violent way.

Obedience without explanation

This could also be termed “because I said so” parenting and may become the hardest element to enforce as a child grows and becomes more confident in questioning you. Rules can be easier to keep when they make sense, though an authoritarian parent may believe that explanation invites argument and they shouldn’t have to justify their rules to a child living under their roof. Again, enforcing rules you genuinely believe keep your child safe and well while refusing to be challenged can be a parent’s way of expressing love, but the communication of this is poor where there is so little give and take.

Lack of responsiveness

A lack of responsiveness does not mean an authoritarian parent does not show love or affection for their children, though this may sometimes be the case. A lack of responsiveness in parenting simply means you’re unwilling to shift your goalposts to validate your child’s feelings or any needs they express that go against your wishes.

Are there any advantages to authoritarian parenting?

Yes, there are advantages to this parenting style. Supporters point out that children who are made to obediently follow rules become good citizens (particularly in collectivist societies) and effective employees. Children who were parented this way can be very goal-oriented and high achievers by nature. Being raised in a critical environment can make one better able to accept criticism and improve quickly in adult life. Having high standards for a child can be read as a sign you believe in them and think they’re highly capable. An authoritarian attitude toward academics or sports may make a child better able to devote themselves to serious study or a better teamplayer in adulthood. As with all parenting styles, you can take what you like from authoritarian parenting and adapt it as you wish to suit your child. For example, many parents would agree that an authoritarian attitude in areas you feel strongly about, such as smoking, drinking, and drug-taking, is completely appropriate, especially if you also model those behaviours.

For more information on supporting your child’s healthy growth and development, check out Unii’s Toddler Health and Development Journey with Dr. Nisha Patel.

Parenting Styles: What is authoritarian parenting?

Unii looks at this most traditional of parenting styles.