Montessori parenting is a style founded on the teachings of Italian doctor and educator Dr. Maria Montessori, whose philosophy can be summed up in three words: follow your child. This child-led education and parenting style involves creating a very specific environment to support a child’s natural development and then observing, respecting, and nurturing them within that environment, whether they’re attempting “free play” or cooking or cleaning by themselves. Montessori parents have a strong belief in children’s innate ability to become independent, self-regulating, and productive members of society when they guide them while providing tools for learning and expression. Dr. Montessori’s dream was that schools providing Montessori as an educational style would become accessible to the public. However, contemporary Montessori parenting and schools are typically quite time- and cost-heavy to pursue, which has led to some media and parental criticism. In addition, because this style is so dependent on the individual child and how they are followed by their parents, it can be hard to evaluate. Nonetheless, as an educational project, Montessori remains popular internationally. It is the most established alternative form of education and is supported by a number of well-known public figures, including Amazon founder Jeff Bezos and members of the British Royal Family.

What is the Montessori environment I need to create for my child at home?

Make it safe.

Start by getting down to your child’s level. This is important because you need to create a space that’s both easy and completely safe for them to explore, and there are things you may miss at your eye level. Unii explores how to childproof your environment in our Toddler Health and Development Journey with Dr. Nisha Patel and our Fire Safety for Families Journey with ex-firefighter and fire rescue specialist Mr. Steven Priestley.

Size down

Once you’re certain it’s safe, start thinking about the size of the chairs and other furniture. The more that’s low to the ground and accessible to your children, the easier it will be for them to become comfortable in their environment and make it their own. Child-sized furniture is normal in a school environment (some Montessori schools are even dubbed “children’s houses”), so why should the learning stop at home? It’s up to you to tailor each room to your child, and there will probably be parts of the house you want to keep child-free. This is fine. As long as there are places that feel like they are made for them, rather than encouraging them to adapt to an adult environment, you are on the right track. Some Montessori homes even provide children with floor beds in the toddler years, which allow for freedom of movement and exploration from the moment they wake up.

Engage children at their level.

Montessori encourages you to put tools meant for intellectual development—books, toys, artwork, and arts and crafts supplies—where a child can choose and use them independently. Educational tools specifically designed for Montessori environments can be expensive, but the use of regular household items is also encouraged. Montessori does not discourage parents from playing or spending time with their children, but the children dictate how time is spent. Adults are guides and keen observers in their world, rather than authoritarians. Your role is to lay out learning tools and opportunities in a logical way, as well as to ensure that the environment is calm and uncluttered. Parental observation is important for parents and children in Montessori. Not only will you become more aware of your child’s natural inclinations and interests, which you can help to cultivate through providing the right toys and other supplies, but your child will learn that their motivations and opinions are significant and worthy of respect, and their confidence in and concentration on what drives them naturally will grow.

Set up developmentally appropriate tasks as activities.

This could include teaching your child to dress themselves, pack their school bag, or follow a bedtime routine. Laying things out in a logical way your child can access will encourage them to attempt their tasks in an independent manner, while showing you that they can do it by themselves. Allowing your child extra time to attempt things by themselves is crucial, especially while they are still learning. Don’t worry about things being less than perfect—e.g., shoes on the wrong feet, top on back-to-front. Montessori encourages learning through self-correction, and your child will work things out for themselves with time, encouragement, and support.

Be a role model.

As much as you are carefully observing your child, they are always watching you and any other adults in their environment. You can parent them in a Montessori way by role modelling peaceful conflict resolution, calm behaviour, focus on your tasks, and good order and hygiene in your habits.

Do not establish a reward system.

Star charts and other tools that are sometimes used to encourage good behaviour in early childhood are not favoured by Montessori educators. Praising your child is encouraged. Understanding that Montessori learning is self-paced and emphasising that each child is valued as an individual is important.

Eliminate distractions

Unlike most child-designated environments, Montessori homes and schools are free from cartoon illustrations, electronic toys, and film or television-inspired products. Montessori favours natural real-world tools as far as it is possible to incorporate them, so child-size and safe utensils, toys made from organic materials like wood, and “nature trays” are all top playtime ideas. You can create a seasonal nature tray at home by putting items gathered from your garden, forest, or beach walks in a tray or shoebox and providing a magnifying glass or tracing paper for creative play and exploration. Technology is not completely absent from Montessori schools, which do move with the times and incorporate educational apps for self-paced learning opportunities. However, devices may distract from your child’s concentration and independent play at home.

Avoid fantasy

As Montessori encourages engagement with real-world objects in a child-friendly way, there is no embrace of make-believe that involves the fantastical—fairies, goblins, etc.

How do you discipline your child by the Montessori method?

There is no punishment of any kind in Montessori, which can be challenging for some parents to accept when a child misbehaves. Instead, the method teaches cooperation with your child in setting boundaries, providing guidance towards self-correction, and providing choices in order to help your child make mutually acceptable decisions.

So, is Montessori parenting worth trying?

This depends on your child, your resources, and your point of view. Montessori does require a significant amount of time, patience, and money. It also encourages the rearrangement of one’s living space and lifestyle to focus heavily on children, which may not suit more traditional parents or those with just one child. In addition, most Montessori research is focussed on the educational outcomes—which evidence suggests are robust and positive—compared with traditional methods rather than the parenting style. It is entirely possible that your child will benefit from a Montessori approach to their education without you simultaneously adopting a Montessori approach to parenting. As with all parenting styles, Unii recommends that you implement what is suggested only as it suits your child and your family as a unit.

For more information on how to best support your child’s development, check out Unii’s Toddler Health and Development Journey with Dr. Nisha Patel.

Parenting Styles: What is montessori parenting and is it worth trying?