You believe your child is developing the right skills at the right time, but how can you be sure? Do you compare them to other children? Or do you simply let them be? And then what happens if they struggle with certain tasks?

It can be tricky trying to track your child’s progress as they get older. It’s even harder if you feel they’re not reaching their fullest potential quickly enough.

But don’t worry! We’re here to take you through a guide of major milestones in each area of development, and explain what your child should be able to achieve by the time they’re 3.

Just a quick reminder; children develop at their own pace. Please don’t overthink or stress if they’re not meeting these milestones the moment they turn 3. Remember, these are guidelines - they aren’t set in stone.

Movement:

Your child should no longer have to concentrate on the mechanics of movement, and should be able to run, jump and walk without too much trouble. They will be as active as they were at 2 years old, but they will be more interested in structured games with rules. Instead of aimlessly drifting between activities, they will know which ones they enjoy, and might spend more time doing those ones. They use their body to convey new thoughts and emotions, often moving when explaining new words and concepts.

Whilst they will have more control of the body, bruises and bumps are still frequent. That’s okay, and even necessary to help them discover their limits. They can be given more independence, choosing their own activities.

What are the movement milestones?

Hop and stand on one foot for up to 5 seconds.

Go upstairs and downstairs without support.

Kick a ball.

Throw a ball overhand.

Catch a bounced ball regularly.

Move backwards and forwards quickly, and can jump forward with purpose.

Pedal a tricycle or small bike with stabilisers.

Climb off and on furniture.

Hand and finger (fine motor) skills:

By the age of 3, your child is still mastering the use of their fingers. They can move their fingers independently, which can help when gripping pencils and crayons.

They will also be more interested in tools and crafts, spending more time with scissors, paper, and paint. They will also decide what they want to make and draw before starting. This leads to developing even more precision with their hands.

Some activities to help improve your child’s hand and finger skills are block building, jigsaw puzzles, colouring with crayons or chalk, pouring water into containers, and dressing up dolls and teddies.

What are the milestones for hand and finger skills?

Copy a square shape.

Draw a person with a head and one other body part.

Use child-safe scissors.

Draw circles and squares.

Begin to copy some capital letters.

Language Development:

At 3 years old, your child should have an active vocabulary of 300 or more words. They will talk in sentences of 3 or 4 words and imitate adult speech. It might even seem like they’re chatting constantly, but that’s a good thing! It’s how they explore unfamiliar words and grammar.

You will see your 3-year-old use language to understand the things around them. There will be a lot of questions asked to help expand on their questions, and introduce them to new words they might not know. For example, if they point to a car and say, “Big car,” you might say “Yes, that’s a big car, look how shiny it is.”

At this age, your child should be clear enough that strangers understand most of what they say. Even so, they will still mispronounce certain words and sounds. That’s okay! As they learn and use the words more, they will get the hang of it eventually.

What are the language milestones?

Understand the concept of ‘same’ and ‘different.’

Understand simple prepositions such as ‘on’ and ‘under.’

Use three-word sentences.

Use words that are 75% understandable by strangers.

They tell stories.

Cognitive development:

Your child will be exploring different concepts and their sense of self. You will find that they’re asking a lot more questions, sometimes hundreds a day! If they’re asking questions that you don’t know the answer to, you can expand on that by searching for the answer with them, giving them valuable problem-solving experience. It’s good to take these questions seriously, rather than just dismissing them.

Your child’s sense of time should also be developing. They will know their daily routine, as well as figuring out the routines of others. They might understand that special events such as Christmas and birthdays happen once a year, but still have no idea how long a year is. They won’t know how to calculate time with minutes and hours, as that will come later in their development.

What are the cognitive milestones?

Correctly name some colours.

Understand the concept of counting and may know a few numbers.

Still approach problems from a single point of view.

Begin to have a clear sense of time.

Follow three-part commands.

Recall parts of a story.

Engage in imaginative play.

Social Development:

Your child will be much less selfish than before, whilst also being more independent. Instead of playing alongside other children, they will start to play with them.

They will also realise not everyone thinks like they do, and that their playmates have different qualities, some great and some not. You will start to see them form friendships and discover that they have their own distinctive features and qualities.

They will consider the feelings of others, asking politely instead of whining and screaming. This might need a lot of encouragement from you, as well as helping them understand that hitting and screaming is not the best way to get what they want.

You will see them engaging in imaginative play, making up worlds with their friends to play in. Pretend play allows children to explore complex ideas about themselves and what they pretend to be, like superheroes, doctors, or simply mum and dad.

What about their social milestones?

Interest in new experiences.

Cooperate with other children and share things.

Play ‘mom’ or ‘dad.’

Increasingly inventive with pretend play.

Dress and undress themselves in costumes.

Try to find a solution to conflicts, instead of screaming, grabbing, and hitting.

Eat independently.

Start to introduce toilet training.

Emotional development:

As your child explores pretend play, it will help them discover their emotions, from love and happiness to anger and fear. Not only will they identify emotions in themselves, but they will also assign emotions and human qualities to objects, such as dolls, teddies, cars, and even the moon.

Your child may develop an imaginary friend. Don’t think that this is a signal of loneliness or emotional upset; this is them developing more social skills and using imaginative play to explore their emotions and feelings.

Alongside this, you may notice your child moving back and forth between fantasy and reality. They might come back from a playdate believing they’re a superhero, or sobbing after hearing a scary ghost story!

If a child needs reassurance when they’re frightened, or imagining monsters under the bed, make sure you are not making fun of, or belittling them. This emotional development is healthy and necessary, and should not be discouraged. At this stage, children will believe everything you say, and might be terrified for a while if you say you’re going to “leave them in the room with the monster.”

If you engage in their fantasy play, it’s a great idea to let them take centre-stage, and be in control of the scenario. Let the world of pretend be the place where they run the show!

Back in the real world, let your child know that you’re proud of their new-found independence and creativity. Introduce them to different choices, like what food to eat and clothes to wear. This will give them a sense of importance and help foster independent thinking.

Whilst it is great for them to feel independent, they will still look to you for answers, rules, and comfort. They should know you’re still in charge, but as they conquer their early anxieties and become more responsible, you’ll naturally give them more control.

What are the emotional milestones?

Imagine that many unfamiliar images may be ‘monsters.’

View themselves as a whole person involving body, mind, and feelings.

Often can’t distinguish between fantasy and reality.

What are things to look out for?

Every child is different, and will develop different skills in their own time. However, it’s always a good idea to talk to your paediatrician if your child is still showing these signs at 3 years old:

Cannot throw a ball overhead.

Cannot jump in place.

Cannot ride a tricycle.

Cannot grasp a crayon between thumb and fingers.

Has difficulty scribbling.

Cannot stack four blocks.

Still clings or cries whenever parents leave them.

Shows no interest in interactive games.

They ignore other children.

Doesn’t respond to people outside the family.

Doesn’t engage in pretend play.

Resists dressing, sleeping, and using the toilet.

Lashes out without any self-control when angry or upset.

Cannot copy a circle.

Doesn’t use sentences of more than three words.

Doesn’t use ‘me’ or ‘you’ appropriately.

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