It’s 7 pm on a Thursday, and you head upstairs with your little one to start their bedtime routine. Once you’ve got them into their pyjamas, helped them brush their teeth, and picked out a storybook for the night, you remind them of one last thing they have to do.

“Sweetie, it’s time to use the potty before you go to bed.”

Even as the words are coming out of your mouth, you wince as you know what’s about to come next.

As expected, they run into their room, throw themselves on their bed and start wailing.

You sigh. Until you mentioned the word ‘potty’, things were going so well…

Using the bathroom is something that most of us take for granted in our adult lives. It’s a skill we don’t remember learning, but it is ingrained into our repertoire of necessary skills for the autonomy of our bodies and lives.

When you become a parent for the first time, it can come as a bit of a shock that potty training doesn’t come naturally to all children. As mentioned, like everything, it’s a skill that has to be practised. Although some children will take to it naturally, you may find that your child is having problems in this area. If this is the case, it’s important to take the time to understand some common potty training problems and more importantly, how to solve them!

Why might my child be experiencing potty training problems?

If you have noticed that your child is having trouble surrounding potty training, then there are several reasons that might be behind this issue.

Starting training too soon.

Some children need more time than others, and that’s just the way it is. If your child is finding potty training challenging, then it might simply be because you started the process too soon and undermined their confidence. Once potty training has been started, it’s advised not to go back to nappies. But if you begin to strongly feel that everything has happened a bit too quickly, then it might be appropriate to go back to nappies until a later stage.

Pain and fear of pain.

Some children may have experienced pain while urinating at some point, therefore, they may try to withhold their pee for as long as possible in order to avoid pain. If you think this may be the case with your child, then consult your paediatrician, as they might have a UTI (urinary tract infection). Other causes of pain can include catching themselves in their flies while unzipping trousers or thrush. If this is the case, encourage them to pee in the bath or shower, as warm water can help eliminate pain. Once they realise the pain is gone from the experience of peeing, then they won’t resist using the potty.

Asserting control.

There aren’t many elements of life that children feel they have control over, apart from sleeping, eating and going to the toilet. Therefore, you may find your child resists using the potty because they are trying to have more autonomy over their own life and body. If you make efforts to give them more control over what they wear, what they eat, who they play with, and so on, this can help matters.

Fear and anxiety around repercussions.

For children, the idea of having to deal with repercussions like being punished or being embarrassed can be a scary or anxiety-inducing thought. Therefore, they might avoid going to the toilet out of fear of getting something wrong or wetting themselves. If you don’t understand where the refusal to use the potty is coming from, you might find that they have experienced these types of repercussions at school. To solve the problem, make efforts to have open conversations with whoever is looking after them during school hours.

Insufficient hydration

Sometimes, a child may appear as if they have problems going to the toilet simply because they don’t need to go! In fact, the most common cause of infrequent urination is lack of fluid intake. Ensure your child is adequately hydrated by giving them enough water to drink, checking the colour of their pee, and encouraging them to drink regularly.

Struggling to read their own body queues.

It’s very common for young children to struggle to read their own body queues, especially if potty training was started prematurely. It’s a process for some children to become completely in control of their own bladders, and become more aware of when they do and do not need to go to the toilet. This is another reason why it’s important not to rush potty training and respect your child’s need to learn this skill at their own pace.

Too much or not enough prompting.

In an effort to encourage their child to take up the skill of using the potty, parents will often either under or over prompt. If you believe that you might be doing this, remember that your child needs to learn to read their own body queues without you prompting them. Make an effort to become more aware of how much you are asking them if they need to go.

Concentration and play.

Children tend to become very absorbed and interested in what they are doing. But this sometimes means they are concentrating so hard that they put off going to the toilet to finish that particular task or game. In this type of situation, wetting themselves becomes a common occurrence. Children who experience this problem might also wet themselves en route to the toilet, too. In these types of cases, it can be helpful to remind your child that they should use the toilet and that they won’t miss out on play if they are quick!

Location of potty or toilet.

When a child’s potty is quite difficult to reach, accidents are completely inevitable. In the early days of potty training, ensuring that your child’s potty is well within their reach is really important, and can affect how successful they go on to be in learning the sa kill altogether. Always make sure that your child’s potty is on the same floor that they occupy most of the time. This is a key step in ensuring that they will eventually feel confident enough to take trips to the potty alone, when that time comes. We recommend starting the potty out in the living room, as that is probably where your child will spend the most time.

Non-potty-training-friendly clothes.

Clothing can have a huge impact on how confident a child feels when approaching using their potty independently. When you are trying to potty-train your child, make conscious efforts to dress them in clothes that are easy to take on and off. And most definitely avoid belts, dungarees, proper buttons, or stiff zips.

Fear of the dark

Having a fear of the dark is very common for small children. And although it’s common, it can affect their ability to use the toilet independently. To solve this, try lighting the space between your bedroom and your child’s, as this may significantly reduce any fears they have in relation to the dark.

Not visiting the toilet before bed.

When a child doesn’t visit the toilet before bed, they are very likely to need the toilet at some point during the night. And because of this, they might end up wetting the bed. If your little one is having this issue, then always remind them to use the potty immediately before bedtime.

Takeaway Points:

Potty training problems are extremely common for toddlers. As a parent, we know that all you want is to make sure your child gains the right skills at the right times as they grow into independent little people. However, even though learning to use the potty is one of the most important lessons a child can learn, many experience issues surrounding learning this skill. Remember, you are not alone with this, and this is extremely common.

There are many, many different reasons that children experience issues around potty training. If your child is obviously having issues with potty training, then the good news is that there are so many explanations as to why this is – and what’s more, so many solutions! Some of the most common causes include fear of the dark, anxiety of getting it wrong, the location of the potty, fear of pain, and so on.

What are the common potty training problems?

Overcome toddler toilet troubles and boost their confidence with Unii's tips.