You believe your toddler is developing the right skills at the right time, but how can you be sure? Do you compare them to other children? Or do you simply let them be? And then what happens if they struggle with certain tasks?

It can be tricky trying to track your child’s progress as they get older. It’s even harder if you feel they’re not reaching their fullest potential quickly enough.

But don’t worry! We’re here to take you through a guide of major milestones in each area of development and explain what your child should be able to achieve by the time they’re 2 – 3 years old.

Just a quick reminder; children develop at their own pace. Please don’t overthink or stress if they’re not meeting these milestones the moment they turn 2 – 3. These are guidelines, they’re not set in stone.

So, let’s begin with the movement milestones.

Movement:

At this age, your child will forever be on the go – climbing, running, and dancing – and their attention span may seem even shorter than before. You’ll sit them down for one activity, only to find they’ve rushed off the next second to do something else. The more climbing and running a game involves, the better. And while this will keep you busy and a little tired, all of this activity will strengthen their body and develop their coordination.

With this increased movement, you’ll have to survey your house to make sure there’s nothing dangerous within reach and no sharp corners they’ll bang into. Create safe places around the house for energetic play but know that they’ll need your constant supervision. And organise a little outside play every day, helping to keep your house (and your nerves) intact. Just make sure to remain vigilant, keeping safety and injury prevention a priority.

They’ll be able to walk and run more smoothly and they’ll manage stairs on their own, whilst holding a handrail. With the help of a small table or your hand, they may even be able to stand on one leg.

What are the movement milestones?

Climbs well

Kicks ball

Runs easily

Bends over easily without falling

Jumps off the ground with 2 feet

Begins to walk up stairs alternating their feet

Hand and finger (motor) skills:

This year, your little one will learn to draw and love doing so. While their pencil or crayon grip might still look a little awkward, they’re sure to create some beautiful pieces of art for you to hang up about the house.

They’ll also manipulate small objects with ease, screwing and unscrewing, zipping and unzipping, unwrapping, turning and pulling, and they may even be able to use a cup with one hand.

When they’re playing quietly, looking through picture books, building towers, and manipulating different objects, their attention span will be longer.

What are the hands and finger skills milestones?

Catches large ball

Can turn book pages one at a time

Stacks objects

Makes vertical, horizontal, and circular strokes with pencils and crayons

Turns rotating handles

Screws and unscrews jar lids

Build a tower up to six blocks tall

Holds crayons with thumb and forefinger instead of their fist

Language development:

Now that your toddler understands around 50 words including some pronouns, it’s a great time to reinforce the labelling of emotions. When they experience big emotions, give them names, letting them know you understand how they’re feeling and making it easier for them to recognise.

While it’s easier said than done, when it comes to language development, try not to compare your child to others. Of all the developmental areas, language sees the most variation between children. Not only will some toddlers learn faster than others, but some might also simply speak less than their counterparts, despite knowing just as many words.

Keep reading to them, favouring short books that encourage activities and ask them lots of questions. And be sure to actively listen when having a conversation, paying them your full attention.

For 1 in every 10 to 15 children, language development is not always easy or smooth. If you suspect that your child is having difficulties, speak to their doctor as soon as possible.

What are the language milestones?

Can follow a 2 or 3-part command

Understands most sentences

Recognises and identifies almost all objects and pictures

Uses around fifty words

Uses 4 or 5 word sentences

Knows and can say their name, age, and gender

Their language is 50% understandable by strangers

Correctly uses pronouns

Understands physical relationships between objects (“on”, “under”, “in”)

Cognitive development:

Where before your toddler’s learning was mostly by touch and listening, their learning is now a great deal more about the development of thought. As their memory and intellectual abilities develop, they’ll begin to solve problems in their head and start to understand time (“after”, “later”, “before”).

They’ll now have a great deal more success sorting and matching shapes, completing jigsaws, and understanding the purpose of numbers for counting objects. As their cause and effect thinking improves, they’ll become much more interested in wind-up toys and turning lights and appliances on and off.

You’ll likely notice their play grows more complex, stringing lots of activities together to create logical sequences. Your toddler will also enjoy playing make-believe, pretending to speak on the phone, having imaginary conversations with toys and pets, and going on little adventures about the house and garden.

One major intellectual limitation at this age is that in their head - everything that happens is a result of something they have done. With this particular mindset, it’s very hard for them to understand concepts such as divorce, illness and death without feeling they have played some role.

At times, they will also have difficulty separating fantasy from reality, so do choose your words carefully.

What are the cognitive milestones?

Can make mechanical toys work

Plays make-believe with toys, people, and animals

Sorts objects by shape and colour

Completes puzzles with 3 or 4 pieces

Can match objects from books to items around the house

Understands the concept of 2

Social development:

2-year-olds are generally concerned about their own needs above anyone else’s, which makes sharing and thinking of others difficult. While they might appear somewhat selfish and spoilt, it’s a phase they will grow out of.

That’s not to say that their empathy levels aren’t developing. With our help, we can teach them to think of others and make amends when necessary. For example, “Look, Sally is crying. She is sad because you took her toy car. Can you please give it back to her?” While we can’t always expect them to control their behaviour, with your help, they can keep practising and getting better.

Similarly, one of their favourite games will be copying you, your partner, or anyone else they might know. So when they put themselves in your shoes or copy their sibling, they’re actually learning to think of others, which helps them to rehearse for future social interactions. This also means you may need to be a little more cautious of the behaviour you model.

Although there may be a few mishaps along the way, your toddler will make the most progress when given plenty of opportunities for trial runs. It’s a good idea to limit groups to 2 or 3 toddlers initially, and you’ll need to monitor the group to make sure no one gets hurt or overly upset, but let them guide themselves as much as possible.

What are the social milestones?

Imitates adults and playmates

Engages in a lot of imaginary play

Plays alongside other children

Urinates in a potty or toilet

Can remove some of their bedding

Understands the concept of “mine” and “his/hers/theirs”

Can take turns in games

Shows affection for familiar playmates

Emotional development:

When it comes to 2-year-olds, mood swings are pretty much a given, and they’re almost impossible to predict. But they’re also part of growing up. Mood swings tell us that your child is experiencing emotional changes as they struggle to control the feelings, impulses, and actions of their body.

As a true adventurous toddler, your child will be testing their limits, your limits, and their environment’s limits, and this will require you to keep a close eye on them at all times. When they overstep the boundaries and need to be pulled back – physically and metaphorically – they may react with anger and frustration that leads to a tantrum.

Separation anxiety on both your parts might become an issue. When this happens, don’t scold, lecture, or hang around for too long. Instead, reassure them you’ll be back and praise them for being so patient on your return.

Set clear and consistent limits that let your child explore and grow in confidence and yet draw the line at antisocial or dangerous behaviour. And be sure to offer lots of praise when they do well or try something new.

If your child seems particularly passive, showing very little emotion, seek the advice of a paediatrician.

What are the emotional milestones?

Openly expresses affection

Expresses a wide range of emotions

Objects to major changes in their routine

What are things to look out for?

Every child is different and will develop different skills in their own time. However, it’s always a good idea to talk to your paediatrician if your child is still showing these signs at 2 – 3 years old:

Frequent falls and difficulty with stairs

Very unclear speech or persistent drooling

Difficulty manipulating small objects

No involvement in pretend play

Poor eye contact

Little interest in toys or other children

Extreme separation anxiety from a parent

Failure to understand simple instructions

Inability to understand short phrases

Inability to build a tower of more than 4 blocks

What are the developmental milestones for my 2 - 3-year-old?