You've been sensing for a while now that your little one may be ready to start potty training. But even though you instinctively feel like it’s the right time, you doubt yourself and worry whether you're making the right decision and if your child is ready. Thoughts go around your mind like, maybe it’s too soon? What if my child is still too young? I’m so exhausted; perhaps I should delay potty training until I feel better?

Deciding to potty-train your child is a big one, so it's totally understandable you’d be feeling some doubt.

That said, we’d love to share with you some things to consider when making this brave decision that should hopefully ease your worrying mind.

Trust your decision

While choosing the right time to potty-train will vary for all parents, the one thing that's very important to remember when making this decision is: to trust yourself. Don’t doubt yourself and your decision to potty-train. Be confident in your decision and in your child’s ability.

If you instinctively feel that your child is not ready, then trust that inner feeling and wait a month or two longer. But if you instinctively feel like this is the right time but are feeling some doubt, then understand that doubt is normal, take a deep breath, and get ready to take the next exciting step in your child’s development!

Did you know that your little one is often ready to be potty-trained before you’re ready to train them? We understand that, as a parent, your and your child’s readiness is always in question, but we invite you to let go of this doubt and not delay potty training for longer than you need to.

Trust in your child and trust in yourself; chances are, you are a much better parent than you believe yourself to be.

Choose your location

You may be thinking, surely the bathroom is the obvious place to potty-train? While this makes sense, as your child already associates the bathroom with going to the toilet and it’s the most hygienic place in your house to potty-train, we would argue that the best place to potty-train is the living area. This is because, during the initial stages of potty training, you, your child and the potty will all want to be in the same room as much as possible. Plus, you are likely to get little or no warning when your child needs to go, so constantly running to the bathroom could make this process much harder to manage.

Whenever you leave the room for longer than half an hour, make sure you take the potty with you. On the very first day of potty training, ask your little one where they would like to keep their potty. This will instantly make them feel like they are in control of the process and help ease them into it.

When you need to leave the house

When you first decide to potty-train, it’s important that you do not leave the house for at least two days. Depending on how your child is doing, you can consider leaving the house on the third day, although we recommend staying in on the third day too. When you do go out, remember to take the potty with you.

For boys, should they sit or stand?

We would always recommend sitting at the beginning. Not only is it simpler, but it’s also far less messy! When your child is sitting, they only have to focus on urinating. If they are standing, they also have to focus on aiming.

When your little boy is ready to stand, to help improve their aim, encourage them to urinate on a ping pong ball floating in the toilet.

On a side note, we don’t recommend child-sized urinals. They aren’t worth the investment.

Avoid rewarding potty success

As we mentioned before, it’s important that you choose a time when your child is ready to potty-train. For this reason, you don’t need to reward them.

We know this view may go against the grain, especially as many people probably tell you to reward your child when they are doing something well, but let us explain.

If we reward our children for doing something well, then the absence of reward can be deemed as punishment.

If you need to bribe your child to use the potty with rewards, then it means they are not ready. Punishing your child, which also means the absence of rewards, suggests that these are accidents your child can consciously control. They aren’t. This also trains the child not to listen to their own body, and instead only goes to the toilet for a reward.

Just to reiterate, if you feel rewards are necessary during potty training, it means that the time is not right. When your child is ready, no rewards are necessary.

Praising potty success

So, if rewards aren't helpful, does the same go for praising? With certain kinds of praise, yes. Let's explain.

If you are praising your child too much, for example, shouting “well done!”, “good boy!” “who’s a clever girl?” when they produce a pee or a poo, this superficial, shallow praise actually hinders your child’s intrinsic motivation and affects how they listen to their own bodily cues.

There are however other forms of praise that can be beneficial.

For example,

Effort based praise:

Praise your child for the effort they make. For example, “So you didn’t need a poo, after all. But I can see you are waiting for one to come – that is a great idea!”

Specific praise:

“I noticed that you took yourself to your potty when you needed a pee. I’m so proud of you for listening to your body.”

Descriptive praise:

“This is your third poo today. Wow! What a big poo this is!”

These types of praise can be very helpful when you’re in the process of potty training and help your child to understand the effects of their actions.

What are the expectations of potty-training?

Be calm and patient with the under-threes, says Unii.