In part one of this two-part article, we looked at some of the fears that can arise for women in the anticipation of childbirth. We looked at the fear of pain, the fear of embarrassment and the fear of being out of control.

These fears are all very normal and very valid in the lead-up to birth. Now let’s take a look at a few more fears you may be having associated with childbirth and what you can do to soothe them.

Fear of medical intervention

Whether you’re planning a natural birth at home, scheduling a Caesarean or epidural, or anything in between, one of your concerns may be around how invasive the birth will be and whether there will be complications. What if something goes wrong?

Share your concerns with your doctor, midwife or doula. If you’re having a home birth, you can talk to your midwife or doula about the potential complications and what support you’ll have if they arise. She will let you know what complications would require you to go to the hospital and what the benefit of doing so would be.

Many women worry that going to a hospital means they are going to be pressured into something that they don’t want to do, but remember, you are within your rights to say “No” to any procedure, but it is best not to adopt a confrontational approach and to ask for explanation which is always possible. And while hospitals may not provide the most “spiritual” or calming of vibes, they are designed to protect you and your baby and make sure you are both safe and well.

Fear of asking for help

Being a patient in a hospital can feel pretty vulnerable and helpless. And being in a huge institution, where hundreds of women are giving birth every day, it’s easy to feel like just a number. But despite some of the horror stories that are floating around about how people may have been treated, there are many positive stories about hospital staff who have been extremely warm and hospitable and do their best to make patients feel safe and comfortable.

Having said that, it is possible to have an unfortunate experience where you feel alienated, neglected and overlooked. Especially in hospitals that are understaffed and financially tight, there are stories of staff being pressured to favour efficiency over nurturing.

And if you put a less-than-welcoming environment together with an inability to control your own daily routine, you’ve got a remedy for a pretty chaotic and disruptive experience. But whatever the hospital rules are, always ask for what you want and need and spend more time with your doctor or midwife who can give you the right support.

Fear of the unknown

This fear encompasses them all. Because you have no idea what will happen and the fears are based on something that hasn’t happened yet.

So the thing it really comes down to is trust. Trust in your ability to cope with whatever it is and make it through that experience. And keep reminding yourself that you’re giving birth at a time in history when there is so much support for birthing mothers, medical and otherwise. If you or your baby has a medical need, there will nearly always be a treatment that can help.

Remember, your childbirth doesn’t need to be a perfect, smooth ride. It’s an adventure and no matter how challenging it is, you will - eventually - come out the other side feeling healthy, happy and with a new baby in your arms.

What are the most common fears about childbirth (Part 2)?

On Unii’s Giving Birth Journey, we try to allay some of your fears about childbirth.