You’re strolling alongside your child on a warm, sunny summer’s day. Suddenly, your child trips. Oh no! A silence fills the air, and you know what’s coming next. They scream and start crying. When you bend down to cuddle them, they’re still crying. When you give them some cream for their graze, they’re still crying. 10 minutes later, when you’ve arrived back home, they’re still crying. Something’s not adding up. You know that surely the pain must have gone by now. So why are they still crying? Could my child be overreacting to their pain?

Accidents can hurt! It’s natural for us parents to want to shield our children from all of life’s aches and pains. But we also realise that our little ones might have accidents which result in a little pain. From bumps to bruises, grazes to cuts, children experience accidents from time to time. But what’s important is how they react to it. Of course, it’s appropriate for them to cry in the moment, especially when they’re young. However, sometimes children will extend this crying period far longer than what you sense is necessary. Or they’ll complain of a tummy ache for hours, despite showing no symptoms of illness.

It’s a thin line between caring for our little ones and indulging their Oscar-winning performances! But we’re here to wash that doubt away. With our solutions and strategies, we’ll give you the tools to help your child communicate in healthier, smarter ways!

How can I tell if my child is overreacting?

Let’s have a look at the 3 key points that may indicate your child is overreacting:

They claim to be ill when it’s quite clear that they are not.

They get obsessed with very minor injuries.

When they do get a minor injury or illness, they believe it is serious.

Now that we’ve identified the behaviour, let’s look at why they might be overreacting.

Why might my child be overreacting?

There are 3 important reasons why your child is following this behaviour:

On a physical level, your child might genuinely believe they’re seriously hurt. This can be activated by high cortisol levels in the brain, leading to a heightened fear response. So, in this situation, the child is not purposefully faking it, they believe the hurt to be serious.

Your child might be wanting attention. When our children are hurt, this usually elicits huge reactions from us. If a child is craving attention, this can be a surefire way in which to receive some. Specifically, they might have an overwhelming need to feel loved and nurtured and to feel like the centre of attention.

If your child is feeling particularly cheeky, they might use feeling hurt as a distraction tactic. If they know that feigning illness might get them out of a situation they don’t like, they’ll use this opportunity to distract attentive parents!

Now that we know the reasons why children might overreact, let’s look at how we can prevent this behaviour from happening even before they get into an accident!

How can I prevent this from happening?

Here are our 3 key preventative strategies for this type of behaviour:

Communicate clearly with their school. This is an essential step to helping your child. Schools have strict regulations and guidelines and will often need your verbal permission in deciding whether to send a child home. If you know what situations your child might be overreacting to, it’s best to tell them in advance. Also, try not to get frustrated when they do end up calling you. They’re doing their job making sure your child is safe!

If you know that your child is safe and feel certain their illness is fake, do not be instantly available. Try not to give a big, overly-concerned reaction — instead, opt for a neutral response, and let them know it might take some time for you to be with them. This can work well, even when you’re not in their presence. Teachers are amazed at how well children can 'recover’ once they know the parent won’t be picking them up!

You can pretend that moisturising cream is a ‘magic cream’, which the child can access themselves. This option to ‘self-medicate’ can avoid a full-scale drama and there’s no harm if they do overuse it. The best thing is, the cream can be brought into most schools - just be sure to discuss it with teachers beforehand!

So what do I do when my child is crying over a small scratch?

If your child is in the midst of an award-winning cry, here are 5 useful solutions that’ll snap them out of it!

Try ‘kissing it better’. This might seem indulgent, but a little bit of nurturing can go a long way! This can effectively solve what the child really wants, which might just be a little bit of love.

If you’re gauging that your child just needs attention, you can ask them in a neutral manner, for example, “I wonder if you’re feeling ill because you want me to stay and cuddle you?”

A strategy that works well is being playful! Make a light-hearted joke about the situation. For example, “Oh no, I guess we’ll have to go to the knee shop and get you a new knee. Would you like a metal one that shoots lasers?” This can help the child realise that the situation is not so dire after all.

Using the ‘magic cream’ can create a nice bonding experience for both you and your child. As you’re applying the cream, you might want to balance the attention with “I don’t think this is very serious, I think you just needed me to show you a little love.”

So next time your child overreacts to an upset tummy, or acts like the sky is falling when they take a slight tumble, use these helpful tips and strategies!

What can I do if my child is overreacting to small injuries and illnesses?

Unii shares how to get your little on to react appropriately to cuts and scrap