Your 4-year-old comes back from school, goes straight up to their room and slams the door. You go up to see what’s wrong, and they tell you that some other kids at school have been picking on them, and it’s been happening every lunchtime. Then, your child tells you that they don’t want to go back to school.

Bullying can be a fact of life for many preschoolers. And we understand how hard it can be for parents to see their child visibly upset from being bullied.

Bullying is when one child repeatedly picks on another child in the form of teasing, taunting, pushing, punching, kicking or other threatening behaviour. It can happen at preschool, in the playground, in parks or around the neighbourhood. Bullying is very serious and needs to be addressed as soon as you notice the signs.

But before we take a look at how you can tell if your child is being bullied, let’s take a look at what forms bullying can take.

What are the signs that my child is being bullied?

Bullying is more than just a single incident in which a child says something mean. Instead, bullying is an intentional, aggressive and repeated behaviour that involves an imbalance of power.

Here are some of the several forms that bullying can take:

Physical (hitting, kicking, pushing).
Verbal (teasing, name-calling, yelling).
Emotional (intimidating, excluding, threats).
Racism.
Cyberbullying (online harassment, hate messages, threats, and other digital abuse).
Hazing (initiating into a group by humiliating, degrading, harassing).

As we said before, bullying is a common occurrence for most preschoolers, so you can expect that your child may encounter one of the above experiences before they start school.

What signs do I need to look out for to know that my child is being bullied?

Your child comes back from school with damaged or missing items of clothing, books or belongings.

They make up regular excuses not to go to school.

They seem distant and find it hard to concentrate.

They lose interest in their school work.

They frequently complain about headaches, stomach aches or other physical ailments.

They have unexplained bruises, cuts, or scratches.

They are finding it hard to sleep and have frequent bad dreams.

They seem moody, sad or anxious.

They have a loss of appetite.

They lose interest in schoolwork.

They want to spend time on their own in their room away from the rest of the family.

They wet the bed more often.

So now you’re aware of some of the signs of bullying, what can you do to support your child?

How Do You Support Your Child through Bullying?

The most important thing for your child to know is that bullying is not their fault. Talk to them about ways they can feel safe in the face of aggressive behaviour. But don’t just ask them if they are being bullied, ask them some more subtle questions, such as:

“I’ve been hearing that other schools are experiencing bullying. Is that going on at your school?”

“I’ve noticed that you’ve been a little off lately. Is something happening at school that you’d like to talk about?”

“Are there any kids at school who are mean to you or leave you out?”

If your child does open up about being bullied, try not to overreact. Let them know that you love them no matter what and are here to listen and support them.

Here are some effective strategies your little one can use:

Look the bully directly in the eye.

Stall tall with their back straight, and stay very calm.

Walk away.

Say to the bully in a firm voice “I don’t like what you’re doing”, or “Please don’t talk to me like that”.

You may even want to role-play with your child, so they practise these strategies and become more confident to use them when they’re needed.

Let your child know that they should ask for the support of an adult if bullying takes place. If bullying is happening at school or preschool, it’s important that you let the teachers know that your child is being bullied and ask them to keep a close eye out for when it’s happening, so they can help stop it from occurring.

What do I do if my child is being bullied?

Unii looks at how to handle your child being bullied.