When your first child was naughty, a little burst of time-out was the perfect solution for calming them down and giving them some time to think. But their little sister just doesn’t seem to understand the concept of time-out and no matter how much you use it and explain it, they only continue to misbehave.

So now you’re asking yourself - Could it be that time-outs don’t work for every child? Are there other methods that might suit my youngest?

Every child is different, so when it comes to discipline, there’s no one magical solution that works for every child. If you’ve tried time-outs but have found that they only result in more chaos and don’t seem to improve a certain behaviour, it might be time to consider alternate disciplinary methods. However, there are a few things we’d like you to try before giving up on time-outs entirely.

What should I try before abandoning time-outs?

Explain the function of time-outs. Time-outs are often mistaken for punishment by both adults and children. However, if they can instead be seen as an opportunity for everyone to calm down and think about making better choices, you may find that your child is less opposed to the prospect. Reassure your child that you love them and explain again and again if need be that time-outs are an opportunity to cool down.

Think about the time-out setting. The setting of time-outs is really important, after all, if your child’s time-out is spent in their bedroom – full of toys and a computer – they’ll find the time entertaining and won’t think about what they’ve done. The ideal time-out setting is quiet, free of distractions, and rather boring. Try a few different spots if need be until you find something that works.

Consider time-out length. Time-outs that last too long are problematic. So, if you’re a little unsure as to how long they ought to last, think of a minute per every year of age. For example, a 5-year-old’s time-out should last around 5 minutes.

Sit nearby and offer reassurance if it helps your child to stay calm. While it is important to avoid engaging with your child when they’re in time-out, some kids find it rather difficult to be on their own. If you think this might be the case with your little one, sit nearby, let them know that you love them, and tell them you’ll speak to them once the time-out is up.

Be patient and keep trying. Remember, these things take time. Keep trying and try to be as patient as possible.

Think of putting time-outs on things your child enjoys. You can also think of placing time-outs on screen time or on certain toys if ordinary time-outs don’t seem to be working for your little one.

But what should I do if time-outs still won’t work?

If time-outs aren’t for your child, think about introducing alternative methods. For example, you could withdraw privileges or increase chores. Just make sure that whatever you choose, you communicate effectively and let them know which behaviours you expect. It also helps to think of catching your child being good, as opposed to focusing on unwanted behaviours.

What do I do if time-out doesn't work?

Unii offers some other options for parents trying to moderate bad behaviour.