Adjusting to life as a family will take time, and it’s important to give both yourself and your partner lots of grace after you take your baby home from the neonatal unit. Here are some everyday things to remember that should help you on your journey.

What do I need to know about my premature baby’s nappies?

You can use baby wipes instead of cooled, boiled water for changing your baby's nappy, although cooled, boiled water is fine. Use whichever nappies suit you and your baby best. There are several brands of disposable nappies that come in sizes small enough for premature babies. These are widely available in many pharmacies and supermarkets. If you prefer reusables, you can find shaped cloth nappies for babies from around 2.5 kg in weight. Some have a separate nappy and an outer wrap, while others are all in one. You can also use traditional terry nappies, but you'll need to fold them so they're small enough to fit on a tiny baby. Whichever type you use, a disposable liner inside will help to protect your baby's bottom.

How often should my baby poo?

Parents often worry about this when they take their babies home. The important thing to remember is that your baby doesn't need to poo every day, and some babies, especially if they're breastfed, may go for a few days without doing poo. As long as your baby is feeding and seems well, you don't need to worry. Check with your doctor if the colour of your baby’s poo changes.

If you are moving on from breast milk to formula, your baby might become constipated at first as the formula is harder to digest. Try giving them a little cooled, boiled water, just as you would with a term baby. It's important that you don't give more than 10-15 ml (3–4 tsp), though, because otherwise you'll fill their tummy up and they won't drink as much milk as they need. If you think your baby may be constipated, talk to your community nurse, health visitor, or GP.

How should I keep my baby clean?

Your baby doesn't need frequent baths, and topping and tailing (washing the face, hands, and nappy area) will be fine on the days you don't bathe them. It is still a good idea to use a new piece of gauze or cotton wool with cooled, boiled water to wash each eye for the first few weeks. You don't need to use soap or bath liquid to wash the rest of her, but if you do, ensure they are specially formulated baby products, as other toiletries can irritate a baby’s delicate skin.

How should I deal with crying?

Premature babies don't cry much, but now that your baby is older, they will start to use crying to communicate with you! Their ways of doing this are very limited, so he'll cry if he is hungry, tired, uncomfortable, bored, or in need of a cuddle. Remember, crying will not harm your baby. As you get to know them better, you will recognise the difference between cries and be able to respond quickly, and, as a result, they will gradually cry less.There are plenty of ways to comfort them.

Try the following:

Motion: put them in a sling and walk around with; or go out in the car as long as you are not too stressed to drive safely.
Food: always a popular one.
White noise: place your baby in front of the washing machine on a spin cycle.
Distraction: We highly recommend daily reading, which benefits your baby from birth. At home, they may even indicate their preferences by how they respond to covers, rhymes, etc.
Try a dummy if they need to suck.

If your baby is crying a lot and you're worried, or you feel you're not coping, seek advice from your community health team.

How do I handle unsolicited advice?

All parents have to deal with this, though you may have been shielded from it while your baby was still in the hospital! At home, you may find that you are suddenly inundated with doting grandparents, friends, and various random strangers, giving their views on what is best for your baby. Although well-meant and sometimes useful, a lot of this advice will be conflicting and leave you wondering exactly how to proceed. While it is worth being tactful with grandparents, even if you don't agree with their views on childcare, it is important to start believing in yourselves as parents and doing things your way. You may make mistakes, but as you get to know your baby and how he responds to things, you will find out for yourselves the best way to care for him. Sources of advice on all aspects of life with a new baby are available at unii.com. You can also chat with your health visitor or GP.

What if my premature baby has special everyday care needs?

Unii looks at the day-to-day of caring for a premature baby at home.