You’re at the school gates, dropping your child off at their nursery class. After handing your little one their lunch box, and giving them a big hug, you see them off into their classroom and watch them greet their caregiver.

Although the caregiver waves at you and smiles as they welcome your child, you can’t help but wonder about them. Since you’re always in a rush in the morning, you spend very little time in their presence, and really have no knowledge about what kind of person they are, the relationship they have with your child, or the lessons they are teaching them during the day.

As a parent to a little toddler, it’s very normal to have curiosities about the people who are taking care of your child all day long. In fact, the relationship between caregiver and parent is often undervalued and undernourished, with parents spending an average of seven minus a day in the childcare setting, and 10 percent of parents not even going in at all.

It’s important that we educate ourselves on why this relationship should be fostered, the benefits of doing so, and of course, how we can go about this.

First off, let’s find out just why it’s so important to create a good relationship with your toddler’s caregiver.

Why is it important to create a good relationship with my toddler’s caregiver?

The relationship between parents and their children’s caregivers is, as mentioned, often not given enough effort from either side. But with some time and effort put in, and open communication exchanged, this relationship could give a wonderful opportunity for a satisfying partnership on behalf of the child.

A healthy stream of communication between parent and caregiver means that problems and difficulties can be shared, as well as small achievements and amusing stories. All in all, if you foster your relationship with your toddler’s caregiver, then you are working towards creating a better quality of life for all involved. You, the caregiver, and of course, your child.

So, now we know why enhancing this relationship is important, how can we go about doing it? Let’s look into some practical ideas:

How do I enhance my relationship with my toddler’s caregiver?

Set up one or more interviews with the caregiver before deciding on the childcare arrangement. It can be very helpful to take the time to set up an interview with a caregiver before deciding whether it’s the right childcare arrangement for you and your family. Talk to them about their views on the area of child development that are important to you. Perhaps ask them about how they would handle particular situations they may come across in the nursery. This allows you to gauge whether you feel satisfied with the way this person is going to give care to your child, helping you to make an informed decision.

Set up regular times to talk with the caregiver and exchange views about your child. Checking in with your child’s caregiver at regular intervals can be very positive, as it will give you an opportunity to see how things are going, exchange views on any decisions that need to be made, etc. It’s vital that both you and your child’s caregiver feel comfortable enough to bring up topics like this, and keep the line of communication flowing.

Try to create a warm relationship with the caregiver. Even though you won’t know your child’s caregiver that well when you first start to build a relationship with them, it’s imperative that you make an effort to create a warm, giving relationship, where you both feel comfortable talking about any topic in relation to your child. Also, your child will notice the nature of the relationship between the two of you, and this will influence their comfort around both of you.

Don’t dismiss your child’s complaints about the caregiver. Once in a while, you might come across a caregiver that acts inappropriately, or in a way which makes your child feel uncomfortable. Although this might not be the case with the person taking care of your child, it’s good to be aware that this is always a potential situation which could arise. Therefore, don’t dismiss any doubts your child seems to be having about them. Investigate any claims they bring to you, and take them seriously.

Think things through before reacting to any conflict. Even in situations that involve children, conflict can always arise. If a conflict erupts between you and the caregiver, try not to panic. If possible, find a quiet moment in which the two of you can sit down and talk things through. Always lead with positivity, and let them know there are many things you appreciate about how they take care of your child. However, if you really feel like they’ve crossed a boundary, then don’t be afraid to look for other childcare options.

What is my relationship with my toddler's caregiver?

Close and cooperative relationships support your child's development and wellbeing.