As your little one approaches you by the school gate, you see that they’re not looking too happy. They don’t return your wave and there’s a definite frown on their face. As you load them into the car and begin to chat about their day, you find out that their maths test results came back today, and they haven’t done too well.

While you know that these things happen, they’re really struggling to come to terms with the negative emotions they’re feeling. So, what can you do to help them?

Before we suggest a simple but useful method, we’d first like to stress that everyone, even children, experiences difficult feelings. Whether they’re feeling sadness, anger or guilt, the job of a parent is not to shield our kids from these difficult emotions but to help them deal with them in a healthy way.

Now, let’s get into it and find out how you can help your child cope with their difficult emotions.

How can I help my child cope with their negative feelings?

Below, you’ll find one method for helping your little one put certain negative emotions and situations to rest. While it may not prove useful for every situation, give it a go next time your little one is struggling to come to terms with something and see if it helps!

Write it down. If your little one comes home from school feeling a little sad or angry, approach them gently and see if you can get to the bottom of what’s causing these difficult feelings. If you’re able to suss out what’s bothering them, have them write it down on a piece of paper. It may also help if they write down how this made them feel. For example, ‘I failed my maths test and it made me feel sad.’

Get rid of it. Now it’s time to dispose of the paper (and thus, the negative feeling). If it’s a small enough piece of paper, they could flush it down the toilet. Or perhaps they’ll want to tear it into little pieces and toss each piece in a different bin. Some children like to bury it in the garden or even turn it into a paper plane and try and throw it into the outside bin (this one will also have them giggling away their sadness).

But what happens if their feelings are hurt by another or if they’ve hurt someone else?

If someone has hurt your child’s feelings – a friend perhaps – it can be very soothing for your little one to write a letter of forgiveness. In the letter, they can write what happened and how it made them feel, and then express forgiveness. While the letter doesn’t need to be sent, it’s sure to do your little one a whole lot of good. Similarly, you may find that your child has hurt another and that a letter of apology will prove more useful. Again, they do not need to send the letter, though they might like to do so. Just be sure to remind your child that it is up to the other person as to whether or not they forgive them.

What method can I use to help my child deal with negativity and anger?