When raising a preschooler, you’re likely living in a house filled with all sorts of fun and exciting toys, from train sets and remote control cars to dolls, stuffed animals, and toy robots. Not only do we buy our kids plenty of presents for their birthdays and other special occasions, but they’re always receiving gifts from family members and friends so that before long, it feels as though half of your day is spent picking up toys.

However, there may come a time when, despite now owning a small mountain of toys, your little one seems only to play with one. While this might not initially strike you as a problem, when children engage in just one activity or play with just one toy, they miss out on all the learning opportunities that come from the varied play. When we play catch with a ball, we develop our hand-eye coordination and larger muscles, and when we paint and draw, we exercise the creative side of our brain. Each and every activity has its benefits, be they social, emotional, cognitive or physical, and for this reason, we should encourage our children to engage in a great variety of play.

If we want to do so, we need to first establish why some children choose to engage in just one activity or limit play to a particular toy.

Why do some children limit play to one activity alone?

It’s very natural for children to have a favourite toy, a toy they place beside them on their pillow as they go to sleep, a toy they take to the supermarket, to the park and even to the bathroom (although perhaps this isn’t the most sanitary of habits). The toy brings them comfort and security and even confidence when they are feeling uneasy or nervous, and the same can also be said of a favourite activity. The child who carries their favourite toy with them at all times, yet also engages in other forms of play, will still learn and experience the many joys that varied play offers and the habit doesn’t need to be discouraged.

However, if this keeps them from engaging in other activities, our natural response is to do everything we can to get them to play with one of the many other toys they own. And by doing so, we inadvertently teach them that this is an effective means by which to get attention.

So, how do we encourage our kids to engage in varied activities without reinforcing limited play?

How do we encourage our children to engage in a variety of activities?

Introduce your child to different activities

If we want to introduce and encourage a variety of fun and interesting activities, the first step is to choose something fairly similar to that which your child currently engages in. If they like playing imaginary games with a fluffy toy dog, let them know that you have a special game you would like them to play with you. Then introduce another stuffed animal, perhaps a toy monkey, and encourage a game involving said monkey. In this way, try to introduce a new toy each day for one or two weeks, gradually involving more and more dissimilar toys to the fluffy dog. When introducing a new activity, help your child to get started and offer plenty of encouragement and praise. If they only engage for three minutes, don’t worry. This is progress!

After some time has passed, encourage activities that don’t involve stuffed animals, such as painting or a puzzle. Do so gradually, after a few weeks have passed, and don’t expect them to stick to new activities for long periods of time. Make sure to keep giving praise, especially if they complete a new activity, as the primary objective here is to convey that you approve of their trying to engage in new things.

If your little one does not want to try another activity and wanders back towards the fluffy dog, let them go, but explain that you would like them to also play with the other exciting toys available, and that these toys can be a great deal of fun!

‘We’re going to spend a few minutes every day playing with different and exciting toys, and it will be lots of fun! After you’ve had a good go at a new activity, playing with a new toy, then you can play with Scrappy, the fluffy dog.’

If it helps to remove the favourite toy every now and again whilst engaging in another activity, do so, however, if your child becomes distressed, allow them to keep it nearby. Eventually, with your help and praise, they should come to engage in a variety of games all on their own, but it is still important for you to continue to praise them every now and again.

Reinforce involvement in different activities

When you spot your child spontaneously engaging in an activity different to their particular favourite, offer lots of praise and attention. You might say something along the lines of, ‘it’s so great to see you playing with the paints and pencils today. You’ll learn so much by playing with different toys and engaging in different activities!’ For maximum effect, make sure to reinforce this behaviour as soon as you see it.

Ignore involvement in just one favoured activity

If your child does now and again revert to their old activity, playing with the one toy, do your best to ignore them. Children both need and want adult attention, and by withholding attention and praise, we teach them which behaviours we expect and value. Once they engage in another activity, be sure to offer plenty of praise, accompanied by a hug.

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