All babies cry, and there’s always a reason for it. There are few more gut-wrenching sounds to a new mother than a baby’s wails; even mums with adult children can find them unsettling. Still, it is important to remember that a newborn’s ability to communicate is very limited, and this is a vital outlet for them. They’ll cry when hungry, tired, in need of cuddles, or simply bored. As you get to know your baby, your ears will become attuned to the differences between their cries, be able to respond correctly more quickly, and even understand that not every cry needs a response. As a result, your baby will cry less.

What are the most common reasons a baby cries?

Hunger is the most common reason and likely to be the one you identify most easily. Your baby may also be bored, in need of distraction, or overstimulated and wanting some quiet time. Very tired babies actually find it harder to go to sleep, so try to avoid overtiredness. Babies are very good at signalling sleepiness—think rubbing their eyes and yawning. They might cry because it’s cold. When deciding whether to put on an extra layer of clothing, feel the back of their neck to check their temperature, rather than their hands and feet. Babies' extremities often feel cold, and overdressing them can be dangerous. Discomfort (including wind) can also make them cry, though usually not as loudly as pain.

Is my baby crying because of pain?

Crying because of pain is usually easy to interpret; it will sound urgent and may even rise to the level of a scream. Screaming comes with colic, for example, and it frequently occurs in the evening when you’re most tired. It can be very frightening, but, on the other hand, things would be much worse were they unable to alert us to their feelings.

What if my baby won’t stop crying?

In medical terms, excessive crying is continuous crying that lasts over three hours in a 24-hour period. It may seem like your baby is crying non-stop, but you will probably find that the total time is under three hours. Rarely, doctors admit babies to the hospital to check that there are no medical problems that cause excessive crying. This will also give you a chance to get some sleep.

Reflux is the most common medical cause of excessive crying. This is where the immature valve at the top of the baby’s stomach allows milk to come back up. The acid in this regurgitated milk burns the oesophagus and makes them cry. Other signs a baby is refluxing include arching the back and crying when you attempt to lie them flat. Sometimes babies don't spit out what comes back up but swallow it instead. Even though there isn't any spitting up, they may show other symptoms similar to reflux, such as being unsettled after feeding.

Most babies with reflux need no treatment and they will grow out of it in a few months. Simple things such as feeding smaller volumes more frequently, holding them upright for longer after feeds and holding them in the “leopard in a tree” position can all help. However, if your baby is refusing to feed, not gaining weight or crying for very long periods see your GP or health visitor. Some babies have a cow’s milk allergy and can benefit from a special formula from or exclusion of milk from your diet if you are breastfeeding. Some babies respond to medication and some babies benefit from starting solids slightly earlier than six months.

Colic usually occurs from three weeks, peaks between six and eight weeks, and thankfully resolves by the time your baby is around four months old. We’re not sure what causes it, though it is associated with excess wind. There is no reliable treatment for it. Sadly, over-the-counter medications rarely help. Baby massage can help and you could also try the comforting techniques for crying suggested below. Some parents find that cranial osteopathy is helpful.

Every colicky baby is different, and you will probably soon hit on a technique that works.

Will changing my diet help my colicky baby?

There is no good evidence that what you’re eating is causing your baby’s colic, but anecdotally, breastfeeding mums have long associated the condition with certain foods, including garlic, spicy food, beans, cruciferous vegetables, citrus fruits, caffeine, and dairy products. You might try cutting these out individually to see if there’s a difference in your baby’s health, but, as an evidence-based resource, we must point out that the science isn’t there. It’s worth noting that colic develops in one in five babies in the UK, regardless of whether they’re breastfeeding or formula-fed.

How can I comfort a crying baby?

There are lots of lovely ways to do this, from cuddling to talking to them while making eye contact. Sucking is comforting for babies, and yours may take the breast for this reason even if they’re not hungry. Or you could give them a dummy if you’re happy to use these. See if motion helps by putting them in a baby sling or the car seat, or just ‘dancing’ by jiggling and rocking them in your arms. You’re still their favourite smell, and the proximity alone will be soothing. You can try massaging their tummy in a clockwise motion (using unfragranced plant or baby oils, never perfume or aromatherapy oil) to relieve an aching tummy. A white noise machine or just placing their Moses basket in front of a washing machine on a spin cycle can also help.

What if it all gets too much?

Sometimes a baby’s crying feels completely overwhelming, especially if there is nobody there to help you cope. Every parent has been in this position at some point. What is important is to recognise the point where these feelings might make you or your partner handle the baby roughly. Being shaken can seriously and irreversibly damage a baby’s brain. If you become scared you may hurt them, put them somewhere safe where they can’t hurt themselves, such as a Moses basket, and take 10 minutes to yourself to have a cup of tea and calm down. It’s extremely normal, especially in the postnatal period, to become so tired that you need this sort of break, and don’t feel guilty about leaving them for a few minutes and asking for professional help if you need it.

What should I do if my baby is crying?