CRASH! There goes the TV remote hitting the wooden floor. BANG! This time it’s a heavy book pushed off a side table. SMASH! Oh no, not the pretty bowl I bought the other day?!

Living with young children will expose you to lots of noise and inevitably you will see things broken, but some preschoolers develop a habit of intentionally dropping objects to create loud sounds. And when things begin to break, when it becomes a potentially dangerous pattern, you'll likely want to put a stop to this particular behaviour.

To do so, it’s helpful to first understand why some kids intentionally drop objects.

Why do children drop objects?

Occasionally, dropping and bumping into items so that they fall, could be a sign that your child has difficulty seeing or that their hand-eye coordination hasn't yet fully developed. Some children who have difficulty hearing will also drop items to reassure themselves that they can, in fact, hear. If you suspect any of these to be the case, we recommend that you take your little one to see a doctor. However, there is another fairly common cause that leads children to drop objects.

When children make a habit of dropping objects, they typically do so for the noise it creates, and the attention and enjoyment they get from being disruptive. As we’re relaxing on the sofa or working from home, we find the loud thuds and bangs to be irritating and of course, we worry about the injury and damage the habit may cause. So our response is generally swift and substantial, lecturing and scolding the child, but inadvertently showering them with plenty of attention. And then we order them to ‘pick it up!’ (if it’s not broken), to which they often refuse, only prolonging the process!

Lecturing and scolding simply will not do the trick because it gives the child exactly what it is they are looking for - attention.

So, how do we go about preventing our children from dropping objects without encouraging attention-seeking behaviour?

How do we prevent kids from dropping items for attention?

There are one or two easy and simple steps you should consider before making any big changes. If your child enjoys dropping one particular type of object, such as wooden blocks or toy trucks, remove these items for a couple of weeks. They can be replaced with lighter items, such as paper cartons or plush toys so the desire to drop them for noise is diminished. Then, after some time has passed, you can try replacing the original items.

It is also sometimes the case that children drop objects out of frustration because they don’t really understand how to use them. Examine whether this might be true of your child and if it is, teach them what the object is for and how best to use it.

Otherwise, take the following 3 steps:

Prevent

If your little one likes to drop objects, you’ve probably noticed certain cues that will let you know when they’re about ready to do it again. Perhaps they start collecting items or maybe they look around for something to drop. If you do recognise that they're about ready to drop something, go over to them and engage them in an activity that makes proper use of the items. If they’re holding onto a book, sit them down and ask them if they’d like you to read to them or perhaps you could read together! If they’ve collected a bunch of puzzle pieces, encourage them to put the puzzle together with your help.

If you’ve recognised that the behaviour takes place during a particular scenario, perhaps when they’re playing with others, stay nearby and do your best to guide the situation.

Reinforce

When children drop objects, they are handling them in an inappropriate way. So, it’s important that we reinforce the appropriate use of objects and materials by praising and commenting on proper use. For example, you might say:

‘You are really using those pencils very well! What a lovely drawing you have made.’

‘Well done for turning the book pages so carefully. That way they won’t tear.’

Show them how pleased you are with appropriate behaviours and they will soon learn that good behaviour will get them just as much, if not more, attention.

Ignore

When your child manages to drop something without you getting there first, try to ignore the behaviour. Initially, the house might be full of bangs and crashes as they drop more and more items, hoping to get your attention, but once they receive the message that no one will give the behaviour any attention, it should gradually come to a stop. If you feel the need to ask them to pick the object up, do so once and praise them if they comply. If they do not, simply turn around and get on with business as usual and pick it up when the time suits you.

What should I do when my child intentionally drops objects?